As some have noticed, I just recently joined. But I already have things to say.:dry: Apologies if this gets too long. Here we go: Hello. I'm a 14 y/o male apparently, and also a 'gaysian'. Both gay and Asian. If you didn't know, being a gaysian isn't easy. I've always knew that I was different from all other children; I was attracted to the same gender. But I could never come out to anybody, nobody in my town would understand. Being gay is considered a taboo here, and here in Malaysia, LGBT rights are highly unrecognised. And I've suffered. I wasn't allowed to express myself, and I still am.(!) I'd disgrace and bring dishonour to the family, my parents say. And they do call me 'banana'; the yellow represents my race, while the 'inner white' represents my 'foreign' behaviour. I had to be the perfect, straight son, and not to behave like a non-Chinese. Note, great-grandparents were local Chinese that traveled overseas to Malaysia. I identify as a Malaysian. If only it could accept me, though. Each walking, living day of my life, though, I did not deny my attraction towards the same sex. I've only hid it from all. Many gays here are forced to live double lives, and in secret, too. But I don't. There is no supportive person in my life, and for each passing day, I grew worse. It was no surprise that I had suidical thoughts. So now I find this site and hope to find support from foreigners... I'm such a loner. I'm not that great at expressing myself through words, but I'm sure my message is.. Clear enough. Also, once again, sorry for making this too long!
I have strict Christian parents who would never accept me. My family is the same. I live in a small town where there were no openly gay people. I am alone. My only hope is online and that has been difficult too. This is a good site, don't overlook the articles, they are really good. And you can always talk to me if you want. I'm sorry you're going through this. Hopefully you'll find friends on here so you won't be alone.
I know that I'll never be alone online, but in real life, nobody here in Malaysia, at least in my town, there is no lgbt supporter. There's only discrimination. And it's not just the people, Malaysia has its own set of anti-lgbt laws. And then, there's the supporters to this. http://youtu.be/j0zH1vsIGCK You won't need to know the language, to understand the hate in this video. Play at 5:00, and it just might make your day. Other than family issues, there is no openly gay people here, not to mention, Malaysia itself does not allow it. You might get a max of 20 years of prison and a few whips. Here's a tip for LGBT tourists who want to visit Malaysia: Try not to show same-sex affection and/or cross-dress. They tell the LGBTs to be an American citizen instead, as some Malaysians believe that LGBT itself is of foreign origin, and that it is not a place for them to live in. I'm still quite young, and I can't imagine my 14 y/o self be on an airplane alone. My family wouldn't support my actions either way; being gay and thinking about moving away, it is just betrayal and dishonour to them. The only choice out there for me, is to continue to be closeted. It wouldn't only just make the country acknowledge me as a citizen, it also would make my family happy, and they'll further acknowledge me as a family member, and a son to my parents. My happiness just isn't worth facing discrimination and potential disownment, so yes. Be closeted forever. And all I can do is to try and not give into depression. Glad I've found this site? I'm glad I did. And thank you, Pine.
I hate saying thins, but maybe your best chance is to just live with it until you're 18 and able to move out. Take care... you still have a long life ahead of you.
