I'm in the Army and that takes me far away from my friends. I can't see them in person to talk to them but I want to FaceTime them to tell them I'm gay. I've finally accepted myself at 22 years old after suppressing it my whole life and denying myself happiness all of this time. I grew up in the Deep South so there was no hope for me coming out while I was at home. I know some people do it and have done it successfully but my family is prominent in my community and they would have made a huge deal of it and likely rejected me while I was there. I don't know that for sure but even though I'm not there it still scares the hell out of me. I love my family and I don't blame them for thinking the way they do. It's just how people in the south have been raised and it will be tough work getting them to accept the LGBT community but I do believe it can happen because of all of the truly great people that live there. Wow, sorry I'm so off topic right there. Like the thread title says, I don't know when to come out to my close friends. I've tried a couple times now and they end up being busy with something and can't talk when I've finally worked up the courage to say it so I burn out and I chicken out when they can talk a few hours later or the next day. Should I just blurt it out even though I'm not as worked up to do it or just keep trying to catch them at the perfect timing for myself? I feel like I'm being an ass by making a big deal out of when I want to do it but I just can't help the nervousness I have constantly. I haven't told a soul yet. Sorry I got so off topic, I guess it's just my nerves that make me ramble on. I REALLY would appreciate any advice I could get. Maybe if you were in my situation or something like it I would love to hear from you. Thanks everyone.
I'm in the same exact place. I keep wanting to do it but whenever I am actually in the moment I can't get it out. I'm trying to figure out how to remember the fact that I want to come out more than stay in the closet. It's hard.
I found that when I went in the military, I developed new friends, and my old friends from back home tended to move on with their lives. So, it wouldn't have made much difference to them, and I only came out to one old friend, who it turned out was also gay. I did that by chatting on facebook (private messages). But it sounds like you may have maintained some closer friendships. So, I would probably send emails to them. Gives them some time to digest and respond... or not. and takes a lot of the edge off for you. good luck.
From my experience, there will almost never be a "perfect timing" to come out, so I just blurted what I want to say. Maybe you can try my "technique" of tuning out my mind and just speak whatever comes to my mouth without any filter. After telling them, I handle the reactions with grace (haha). Good luck!
Thanks for the responses and advice everyone. I'm planning on coming out to one of my closest friends from back home this weekend. I'll let you all know how it goes.
Wow I am in the same boat as you! I finally accepted that I was a lesbian at 20/21 but I have not come out yet because I am scared to. Just take one day at a time and pick a time and place to tell your family. I really hope that everything goes well for you
