Is it even worth it to tell someone you're "questioning"?

There are some cases where letting somebody know that you are questioning can be helpful. When I was learning about my gender, I told some of my trans friends that I was questioning and they helped me by giving me some advice when I needed it. So, if you know anybody else that identifies the same as you, and is willing to give advice then it can be helpful.

 

I told my friends that I was trans and told my parents I was questioning and wanted a therapist. But if I could have avoided telling my parents before I knew, I would have. I only did it because I needed a therapist and wasn't sure how else to tackle it.

 

No, but I agree with Brad here.

 

Personally for me , It was totally worth it.

I am 24 yo and from one of the most conservative country - India. I always knew while growing up that I am different than other but I did not really know what is it. Having grown up in this social environment, I am somehow always forced to question my attractions towards guys. It was very difficult even to understand myself. I had all my feelings locked inside me and it was really difficult. I had access to internet to know about being gay n all (I was not aware about EC though), BUT to understand & express my mental stress, confusions, - there was nowhere I could talk to.

So gradually in a span of 3 years - I came out to my two best friends as "Questioning" and started discussing about my problems.. I never regret that decision to tell them. After that I did come out to some gay people in the college (whom I had connected online) as "Questioning" to talk and understand with them about my sexuality. Gradually I started to understand & express my mind more to them. I even started visiting counseling center. All of these together has helped me move up from Questioning to gaining surety & confidence about my self and be happy with who I truly am.

I somehow wish that it would have been better if I had opened up to my best friends earlier - but never mind better late than never.

PhatBeat - I do not know your personal situation here. May be, you are not that stressed out to express your mind to someone. May be you just want to express your true self and be authentic to some close person. I do not see any disadvantage in coming out to someone close as "Questioning".

 

I think it depends on the person. Some people will be fine with it and will be there to support you through it all. But I think that most people, even those who claim not to be homophobes, will try to convince you that you're straight/cisgender and just make things more complicated. But it's all up to you. Do what you think is right.

 

Honestly speaking, for best friends - it does not matter to your friendship whether you are gay or what. They will not leave you or do harm to you. Most likely, they will listen to you - not only while you are coming out as Confused but also while you are figuring out your attractions. I totally understand you being nervous. It is normal. Don't worry. Just be faithful in your friendship and in yourself.. It will work out fine in the long run..

When I told friends while I was not sure - they definitely tried to convince me - for long - that it cannot be possible, you are thinking too much, it is unnatural, mind-problem, and stuffs like that. They did not understand 1% of it in the beginning. Looking back, I understand their views and I am also glad about the discussions we used to have over chats, majorly started by me. Had I known about EC, may be I would not have bugged them much for clarifying my attractions.

Whatever is my journey - telling them has neither changed my orientation nor has any effect on our friendship. I used to feel safe about having someone to listen to the most secret & painful (not anymore) thing about me. At least telling them - pushed the conversation. Within me & with them. Which I feel is important.

 

It can be worth telling someone who has been down that path of questioning themselves, someone who understands what it means and can give support and advice. But it can be counterproductive to tell others, who may see it as "a phase" or may have a lot of stupid comments. In other words, it's worth telling someone who can help YOU! (&&&)

 

I just told one person and since I'm a senior in high school he said I'll probably know for sure by the end of my first year in college. He said that's when he figured it out for sure. It's nice to tell someone so they can be there for support. Just make sure it's someone you trust 100% and who either knows exactly how you feel or is just really supportive no matter what

 

that!