Hi everyone, hope my story won't bore you, but I hope to come out to my parents, after all these years, they should have known by now that I am a lesbian with a very stable girlfriend. But they seems to avoid talking about this topic, my mom is worse, she keep on addressing my girlfriend as my friend, and keep on telling me to keep my distance because even best friend can turn into enemies one day. Right now I am trying to find a place to settle down with my partner, and my mom suggested that we should get a two bedroom apartment so we can each have our "OWN" room, with our "OWN" bed. I mean, come on, me and my partner have been together for over 8 years! Can anyone suggest a way for me to lay it out to my parents without causing a scene, they are very traditional and I know they won't take it well.. Thanks in advance. Cheers
I had that same problem with my boyfriend when we had been dating for just about 5 years. Always referred to as a friend. It was maddening, so I know what you're going through. No matter what they are saying, traditional or not, your parents love you. The best way to show them how much this means to you is to be honest. Don't underplay the importance of your life choices to them. Calmly sit them down when you are comfortable and speak with them directly. Tell them how it effects you that they say those things and ask them for understanding. If you are uncomfortable simply diving in (which I know can be utterly terrifying), then perhaps drop a few hints prior to gauge their responses. If you are uncomfortable talking at all, period, the best way to go about it is to hand-write a letter. This both shows that you are committed and should be taken seriously, and also that you have taken time and thought and are afraid. If you are afraid, anyways. In the event that they do not accept what you have to say, just try to remember that your happiness and your life solely rests on you. Their opinions and expectation cannot change you and shouldn't effect anything. Beyond it hurting, of course. It is never nice to have the people close to you disregard important people and situations to you. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best and hope that your parents will understand. I personally wrote a letter to my mom explaining things when I came out and then I was there to talk to her and explain everything when she was done reading it. c: It worked out very well. Just be patient and understanding as you want them to be and everything will work out. Good luck!
Thank you so so much for your advice, it actually soothes me and calms me down just reading your response. I think I will go for the letter method as my mom is a very powerful business woman, and she definitely will not do well with face to face confrontation. I have been playing the role as good daughter for so many years, I am just so scared that after me coming out, she will be so upset that it hurts her. I will try to write this letter and hope for the best. Thank you again.
