ok I'll try to get this across right... and hopefully it'll all come together and make sense at the end. And for those of you who are wondering, this is the same boy as I've talked about before... :\ This will be hard. He was going out with a girl during year 8, lasted til about halfway through year 10. their relationship gradually deteriorated until she was sick of him. He was being a complete bas***d, flirting a LOT with other girls... and me. Turns out he'd tried to get her to sleep with him when he was round her house, which she fought off, and he ignored her more and more from then onwards. She had no problem with him flirting with me, as she couldn't see him being gay/bi etc. then he managed to get with my ex-girlfriend, who turned lesbian a year before, at the same time as i realised i might be gay. She can't help herself most of the time when it comes to potential relationships - and he was brilliant at playing the sympathy card. She was all his, while she maintained a (somewhat) unsteady relationship with another girl 300 miles away. That was on and off over about 4 months, which we think is finally sorted out. It's kinda floating in the background still though :icon_sad: So he's going after other girls. Turns out (no surprise, although you wouldn't think it to look at him) he only wants them for sex. We've warned those girls, who dropped him immediately. Lol. And there's more; he's really spiteful about the band he's in, now having progressed to voicing his opinions to the actual band members - his best friends. And more... but basically, our group of friends currently cannot stand him...but he's not getting the vibes of F*** off. Then there's me. been flirting with me for about 2 years, which properly started last summer. Our group has a theory that he's possibly gay... I'm dead certain he's gay. He's trying to deny it and prove to hiimself he;s not, but when he's with me there's a connection. I think. Right there it gets even more difficult... last year I was subject to being led on by some other cute guy who's 3 months older than me, but in the year above. (He showed all the right signs and still does: most people think he's gay and he's only ever had a couple of short-term girlfriends.) He led me on, faking it (bas***d) and I fell for it. Then he turned round and said it was a joke. Whatever. The upshot is, I;m easy to lead on. My ex did that to me about 20 times, and she's still my best friend. So is this new boy pretending too, just winding me up? You might see the problem in that mess of a story... and if you can see anywhere to go, your doing better than me, cos I can't. Just to top the awkwardness - I;m real pissed off at him for everything he's done, yet I can't get enough of him. I've had the biggest crush on him for over a year and it's not wearing off. Dammit :bang: Thanks if you even managed to read it, and help would be amazingly appreciated
This guy sounds like a Grade A asshole. You're presumably crushing not on him, but on a variation of him. The one where he broke up with his girlfriend not because she refused him sex, but because it just wasn't meant to be. The one where he's chasing after lots of girls not because he wants to go to bed with them, but because he's attempting to run away from his true sexuality, and isn't that sad, and if only he'd admit to himself what he wants, then he'd be happy and pleasant to everybody, and you two could have a killer relationship. ...you're aware that this guy doesn't exist, right? Lex
eeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :O huh? sorry, i think i kinda got that... are you saying that I'm not crushing on the variation that does all that stuff, or I am? Yeah, none of us (our group) really think we know him...
You're crushing on the variation that's still cute and flirty, but without all the baggage. All the signs that he's bad news. All the things, in other words, that are pointing out in large neon letters that THIS GUY IS NOT SOMEONE YOU WANT TO GET INVOLVED IN. Lex
ohk i get you now sorry, it's late hehe yea it definitely feels that way, but he's very... passively aggressive, if that makes sense? He can sit there just leaning on me or something and I'm suddenly all his... even if we've just been bitching about him 2 minutes earlier. not that we do that... it's more of a discussion, we just get wound up. I'll work on it, the problem is he feels like my responsibility, if only just to help him be a better person. Thanks Lex
Hey Tristan, I think I know where you're coming from. When I start falling for someone, I plummet like a pot of petunias....but here's the thing, you don't have to settle for mediocrity. When you want a connection, it should be with someone you deserve. If this guy isn't getting his stuff together and showing any trace of seriousness, then maybe you should move on. and find someone that can handle you're mad skills.
hmm ok gunna have to look around but the only out people at my place... aren't right for me. Maybe i can hook up with someone on here...? I guess that happens? I'll have to hope Cheers
>>>the problem is he feels like my responsibility, if only just to help him be a better person. He's not. He's much more likely to drag you down to his level than you are to elevate him to yours. That's just the way it works most of the time. >>>He can sit there just leaning on me or something and I'm suddenly all his. But you do have a choice. If he leans on you, push him away. Or move. If he gets "offended", shrug it off. Lex
ok. I've always have a problem with being assertive. If I look around for other guys like paint said, I'll feel less inclined to stick with him I'll give it all a go and try to report back in sometime around a week... getting on here's hard cos parents don't know
Ok I give up how do I look for another guy on these forums without sounding weird, paedophiley or making enemies?
i dont know much, but about this guy... i agree with Lex, you have to stop letting this guy get to you. the more you give in the less he's inclined to get better. if you really want him to be better, you have to push him away. you have to show him that you want nothing to do with him if he's going to be an ass. if he really wants you he'll have to change. and if not, then he'll stop flirting with you and you dont have to worry about him any more. about getting with someone here at EC...i guess just get to know people first. be their freinds, talk to them, etc then you can start meeting them in person once you're ready an hit it off from there. but like i said, i dont know much...
thanks guys damn you martin (who's martin?) I managed to only speak to him twice yesterday hehe but we'll see
