Hey guys, Chase here... Can you guys give me advice? ..I want to start living under male prefixes and my name. Totally. However, that means coming out to my church... and I might even be kicked out. My church sees homosexuality and transgenderism as a sin... but how can I help who I am? Does anyone know how to come out to them? It's a really nice church, and I'll put the link to the website at the bottom of this post, but idk how to tell them... Should I just come out completely on Facebook? Maybe I should tell father when I have my meeting with him? I'm so scared... my church is not like any other in my eyes... Will I be okay leaving it? :tears: St. Michael Orthodox Church -
there are nuances in church teachings, and the only way to know how father will react is to tell him. if he sees being gay only in terms of sin, he may accept that you're gay but encourage you to be chaste. that usually does not work in practice. so, take it a step at a time. don't worry too much about what may happen, until it happens. and then you'll be in a better position to consider what your next step will be. I looked at your link, and it does look like a beautiful church.
Thanks! But, you see, I want to be a more active LGBT member, and see whatever I can do in Kentucky, so I'm not sure if they'll kick me out for that... oh well! I'll see what happens.
Hi, I came out almost a year ago, and as a part of that, I had a long coversation with my parish priest. Yes, I came out to him too. It was in part because our family was long time involved in the Church, and secondly, I was a lector and wanted advice as to whether I could/should continue as such. His responce was truly remarkable. Mind you, I did not have the same fear your did: Perhaps it was partly due to the fact that we are here in the Northeast, and not in the south, I know a huge stereotype, but I can't escape the realty either. His comments to my telling him I was gay, were what you would like to hear from any clergy: "who am I to judge who you love," "Jesus, gave us the golden rule, and no where is homosexuality mentioned as wrong" and the kicker, about me continuing as a lector: "the congregation can use some enlightenment!" I truly wish you well, but you are the best to judge how your parish will react, how your leaders, priest, decon, etc. will handle the news. Like I said, I had no fear talking to my priest. In part to the great relationship that I already had with him and the church. Your initial fear, may be your subconscious telling you that perhaps now is not the time to out yourself to your Church. Good luck. Chris
Thank you! I just kinda want to know... if worse comes to worse, what should I do? I love going to church, but most churches don't work for me at all. I am also not sure if I should tell them at this age... My mom doesn't seem too thrilled for me to tell them at this age either, but I am not sure if I can go on hiding... To everyone in my church, I am a young lady. They want me in choir because I am a good singer, and Thia Vicki, my godfather's mother, talks fondly of seeing me getting married, and having kids... I told her I don't want kids, but she insisted she felt the same at my age. I know all of this seems minor, especially with how calm we both spoke, but this is killing me! The head priest of my church is very loving, and wants to talk to me... should I tell him? If I tell him, I am going to clue him in on me dating a girl as well as being a guy. What do you guys think? Should I tell him? Based on his reaction, what should I do?! :help
It sounds like no matter how much you love your church, you will never be happy unless you come out and live authentically. you can come out, and take your chances, knowing that things will change, and maybe you won't be able to be in the same role at that church. you may change some people's minds, but you may not. starting with your pastor is not a bad idea. he may be supportive, you may give you conditions, or he may ask you to leave to avoid scandal. I think his most likely response is to tell you that it is not your "fault" that you are gay, but that you are "called" to live a celibate, chaste life. That's probably not the answer you want to get; but I think that if you ask him, that is the answer you will get. that's the thing about choices, when we say yes to one thing, we also say no to all the other options. good luck making that choice.
I doubt he'll ask me to leave immediently Wildside. After all, he is very loving and kind, and since I am young I am not even sure if he'll take me seriously. He's coming to bless my house this weekend, but I'm not sure that's an ideal time to tell him... I mean, he WILL be busy with that... Maybe during the meeting he says he want to do with me? I told him before I stood up for LGBT people, and I don't understand how it could ever possibly be wrong... Sometimes, after confession, or when I go up to kiss the cross, he surprises me by saying in a strange tone "God loves you." I always admire him for that... and maybe if in the future the church changes it's views, I'll return... but I cannot be celibate, or marry a straight man and have kids... Wish me luck guys! It'll be at least after this weekend, and idk when our meeting might be, but I'll keep everyone informed!
the house blessing probably wouldn't be a good time. just ask for a time that you can talk to him in private, and ask to speak in the "internal forum," like in confession where what you say is protected by the seal so that it is up to you whether you want to continue the conversation in the external forum (without the seal)
