I have always known I was attracted to girls, but I grew up in a family that would not accept me. So as I grew up I tried to hide what I was. Through High school I had several boyfriends but never had any interest in a physical relationship. Junior year of high school I met my husband, he was sweet and never pressured me to be physical. I do love him, he is so good to me, I am just no attracted to him. We were married three years ago (after five years of dating), and now we have a beautiful 2 year old daughter. Me and my husband get along really well, he is my best friend. But I am not attracted him in a physical way, there is no passion. I don't want to hurt him or tear apart my family, but I can't keep pretending to feel something I don't.
I never got married but I did feel that way with my ex boyfriend-- except I knew I wasn't attracted to him, just didn't know I was attracted to girls yet. Love is mysterious and multifaceted. Perhaps telling him wouldn't result in negativity. Maybe he has an idea?
the fact that he is your best friend is a good thing, and hopefully that will make it easier. either way, the two of you are so young, he really has the right to know. you can control the direction that your lives will take once you tell him, but if you both really love each other and always treat each other with respect, it will make it less painful for both of you. you didn't choose to be gay, and you wouldn't have married if you had figured it all out before you got married, any more than he chose to marry a gay woman. you're both in this together in a manner of speaking. good luck! (&&&)
Thank you for your support, I hope to tell him soon I am just trying to build up the courage. I keep thinking that I will tell him when the time is right, but it never seems to be the right time to break his heart.
OMG, what a perfect way to express it! I know that feeling. Even though our marriage hasn't been as mutually supportive as yours, I still have had that feeling. I tried to break the marriage twice over the years (without coming out), and I couldn't handle the heartbreak that I was inflicting. The weeping and wailing, the pain and agony I beheld was overwhelming. I almost came out to her a year ago, but I felt EXACTLY as you have just described it. Oh my, it is so hard, isn't it?
You can't live the rest of your life hiding who you are and being with someone you have no chemistry with. I mean, I suppose you could, but I doubt it would be a pleasant experience. If I were you, I'd tell him the truth, and go from there. I'm sure the two of you can work something out with the kids, and you guys can move on with your lives. It isn't fair to him to be married to someone who doesn't feel the same about him as he does about you. I think the truth is the best way to go.
