I need some help or advice or insight from some of our adult members. Forgive me, but this one's gonna take a bit to explain... There's a lot in play. I basically feel like my life has...for want of better words, gotten stuck. I'm less than a month from turning 27. Unfortunately, nearly five years out of college has convinced me that I did a silly thing by getting a bachelors' in Television and Digital Media Production. It started out well enough, but I've been at the same company for almost five years now (I interned here and then stayed on as an agency employee). In that time, I've gone from doing graphics and assistant editing, the stuff I wanted to do, to working in our video archive. Mostly this was a decision of necessity, as I work at one of the Detroit Big 3 auto companies. Between our very publicly-known financial troubles and one particular manager (who I had the pleasure of watching get fired during the last round of cuts), I'm now several years removed from the creative stuff and far enough out-of-date on the software and the tools of the trade that I feel like I'd be starting over to try getting back into it. The thing of it is that, although I make enough to pay the bills and maybe go out of town from time to time, I'm not really getting ahead. To be quite honest, although my job's not that bad and I'm working sort of in my field and bla bla blah, I've really come to hate my job. Over the past five years, I've watched countless people get fired as the company bleeds cash out the jugular. I've literally lost count of how many different managers I've had. And, I'm sick of my daily success being when my badge still lets me into the building. I've been looking for a different job, but television jobs are few and far between these days it seems, and that seems to be the case no matter whether I'm looking here in metro Detroit or somewhere where the unemployment rate isn't the highest in the U.S. and still climbing. Compounding that is the fact that my personal life seems to have gotten similarly stuck. Admittedly, things have gotten considerably better over the past few years. I came out, and since coming out, I've made a lot of new friends in various locations. I can now take a weekend and go hang out with friends in Toronto or Chicago or other places. I mean, I have good friends here, as well, and we hang out all the time. But, it seems like, unless I take a weekend and go somewhere out of town, everything has mostly gotten stuck. I'm still sadly single, and despite my trying, it seems like so many people around here are just damn crazy. I've dated several different guys, and either they've been crazy, haven't had a clue about what they wanted or how the Universe works, or they haven't been able to get past a couple of fetishes I have. All but one of these have also demonstrated to me that there are very few honest people in the Universe, and for as much as someone claims they want someone exciting and honest, well, they're full of shit. And now, the coup-de-grace, the icing on the cake, the kick to the junk... About a month ago, I met a great guy. We'd known each other online, but when I finally got to meet him, we sparked. He's just gorgeous. He's intelligent, actually honest, and NOT crazy. He's into the same stuff as I am, and since we met, we've talked pretty much every day, or at least have passed a text or two in lieu of talking. I told him I'm really interested in him, and I believe him when he says he's really interested in me. There's just one tiny little issue. He lives in Atlanta, 13 hours away. I dunno, at this point, I'm kind of at a loss as to which way to go or how to proceed. I have pretty much no money in the bank and a job that I'm either numb toward or just hate, depending upon the day. I live in the dying suburbs of a dead, burned out city that also is the driving force of a similarly dying state. I have a degree that is specialized to a point that it's largely useless, and now to top it all off, I'm longing for a guy that lives 13 hours from here. There's a part of me that feels bad for sitting here whining about all of it, and I know that, compared to a lot of people, I have it pretty good, but honestly, I've gotten to a point where I just don't really care. So, I humbly ask for whatever advice and insight any of you might have.
Wow. That's quite a complicated situation you have going on. My personal advice, don't quit your job, the unemployment rate is way too high, and it's still easier to find a different job if you already have a job. Perhaps you can go to night school to learn something else you might be more interested in? Or maybe there's a certificate program that you'd like, those are much shorter term than getting a whole new degree. As for the great guy in Atlanta, he sounds like a keeper. Obviously he lives awfully far away right now. I don't really have any great advice for you there. I know that when I'm struggling in my life, I try to count the blessings in my life that I DO have. For instance, I have some great friends who really care about me. I have a best friend that means the world to me, and constantly keeps me in check. When I get all stressed out trying to over-control everything in my life, she'll ask me "How's that working for you?". That makes me take a real step back and try to analyze what the heck I'm doing and why. I hope this doesn't sound too corny, but have you tried asking God (or whatever you consider your Higher Power) for help? Sometimes when things get too overwhelming for me, I pray about it. God tends to be subtle most of the time, so I have to pay attention to the little signs He sends me. Neon signs with flashing lights would be easier, but it just doesn't work that way for me. In the mean time, relax. Take it easy. Things will get better for you, just concentrate on trying to change the things in your life that you CAN change. Like perhaps pursuing a different career, while keeping your current job. Maybe try to sock away some savings, so you can move for a new job, if the opportunity comes up. Keep in contact with the guy in Atlanta, who knows, maybe some day things will work out with you two being in the same geographic area. Not sure if any of that was helpful, but I wish you the best of luck. Hang in there! (&&&)
^ Someone else familiar with the 12 steps... :smilewave I also work for a large company, and I've witnessed 25% of the senior management team being let go this past summer. It hasn't been fun. However, the industry I'm in isn't in the same situation as the auto industry, so I'm not too worried. The reason I say that, is that often large companies have some pretty amazing benefits that you can take advantage of. Here, we're given the opportunity to take time off (unpaid) for a variety of reasons - going back to school, starting a small business, etc. Are there any things like that you could take advantage of? I know money is tight... but Atlanta is likely going to offer more opportunities than Detroit. Have you been actively looking for new work? You might be surprised what someone with your qualifications and job experience might find! Don't knock it if you haven't tried it. Times are tough, and you are better off finding another job while you still have one - even from your new employer's perspective. You've obviously survived many cuts so far - so you've been an employee worth keeping. That goes a long way! Not sure what else to recommend - other than to focus on the positives and make the best of it. Develop a bit of a plan - and act on it. Accept that maybe nothing can change in the short term, but perhaps big things can happen in the medium term if you start working on them now. PM me if you want to bounce anything else off me. Good luck!
Thanks. I've been working on my resume and looking for jobs already, but like I say, I'm just not finding a lot out there. I guess the bigger thing is that I've gotta get some money in the bank. That's part of what's got me wondering if I need to go back to school. I guess that's one of my issues, that I try to attack too many things at once. I've been trying to decide what else I would want to do if I were to go back to school, while looking for a different job, while working on my resume, while doing all the stuff that life requires. Patience has never been one of my virtues, I'm afraid... Unfortunately, I'm an agency employee, so I have no benefits, not even vacation time, and I make mediocre money as it is, so taking time off to do some of this other stuff is almost not feasible for me. I guess I need to just pick one thing and work on it. Maybe that'll be getting some money back in the bank. The other stuff might just have to wait a bit... :bang:
Ah - ok. I can see where you feel a little stuck. That's too bad. There's no reason why you couldn't do a few of those things at once. But you will have to be patient. The right job will present itself when you least expect it to. You certainly need to be able to sell yourself as best as you can, and accentuate the positives. Just the way YOU talk about your experience and training makes it sound like YOU wouldn't hire YOU. And that's surely not the case. Are there any national associations for workers in the Television and Digital Media Productions field? Subscribing to a magazing on the topic or joining an association of some kind might provide you with some leads or contacts in the business. I have to believe that this is a field that is experiencing more growth than the north american auto industry - so keep looking for something. Figure out how you could spin your training and experience to fit something else - like working in a news room, production house, publisher, local / national historical society, etc. Not sure what else to suggest, other than to remain positive and remember to enjoy today, because you can't undo the past, and you can't control the future. You can only have an impact on today. Good luck, and PM me if you wanted to chat more.
Well, I had been working on my resume and have pretty much completely rewritten it, and now it's something I'm pretty pleased with. And I guess it's not a moment too soon. My company's announced another 10 percent worth of cutbacks, due to be complete by the end of January. We just got done with some very deep cuts this summer, cuts I barely survived at all. And now, we get to go into the holidays wondering if our belated holiday present is getting fired. After the last round of cuts, the new org chart listed me as an "assistant" rather than a producer as I should have been, and I was listed below someone who is actually my equal. At the time, I decided against making a thing of it. I'm not one that cares that much about titles, and I didn't want to create "that" kind of impression about myself to my new manager. But, over the last couple months, I've come to realize that my manager really does see me as just an assistant. Now that more cuts are happening, I'm wondering how bad of a decision not mentioning it before is going to be. Sorry to be a whiney bitch, but I just need to vent a bit. As much as I'd like a new job, I'd also like my transition to be on my own terms. At least I've got my resume in good shape now, so whatever happens, at least I'm ready for it, I guess.
