Is it necessary to come out?

Don't relate coming out to something like you are just revealing yet another personal info. In the environment that we live, it will be beneficial not only for you, but also for your friends and family you are not straight.

However, there is no necessity of having discussions in the same. It is about how you want people to know about you. If you can just bring a female partner to your home/friends and introduce her and also explain your situation together, do that. Some people require proper long heart to heart conversations to explain & get accepted - which may take long time. It is about what you are comfortable. Do weigh pros & cons of different situations & outcomes that may come. Don't over-think !

If your family is fine, then it should not be difficult to you as compared to most of the other closeted people. You may just come out naturally as and when you want to do, and you will not realize when you do that!

 

I'm kinda in the same boat. I want to come out, but serious coversations about me just make me feel awkward and I immediatly start saying "never mind, it was just a thought, I don't really know anything yet, blah blah blah" Maybe we should just mention it casually, like say something about how you think that girl on tv is cute...idk just a thought

 

Unfortunately, "coming out" is a necessary step to "being out," which sounds like it could be something you want (people knowing).

It can be a bit of a delicate matter with your family and feel like an uncomfortable heart-to-heart, and usually there's no way around that. At least you trust your mom will be okay with it. Hopefully, she won't make it into a big deal, so you can say it in when you feel comfortable doing so. Whether that's when you're crushing on a girl, when you have a girlfriend you want to bring over, or just when you really want to tell her is up to you.

With friends, though, it's definitely possible to be casual about it, not make some big heavy moment out of it. Commenting on girls, talking to a friend about your same-gender crush, saying how much you admire X or Y celebrity who's out -- lots of things can be "coming out" without actually saying: "I have to tell you something: I'm not straight." I came out to my roommate by kissing a girl in front of her... That actually worked very well.

So back to the title, do you all think it's necessary to come out? and if you do think it's a necessary part of being gay/bi/lesbian/etc, how would you suggest going about doing it for someone like me who doesn't like having to share personal info with people?

 

There is no single way to "come out". You can be very publicly out, or only out to a few people you choose to share how you feel with. Many people are out to only a few gay friends, or to their family, or just part of their family. It is a process not an "event", unless you want to make a very public announcement in a very visible way. If you want to have an authentic relationship with someone, you will certainly have to be "out" to them, otherwise there will eventually be big problems. How far you want to extend that openness is generally up to you, but the people who are fully out, or have no concern about people knowing but just don't spread it around in a big public way, seem to be the happiest.

 

I've never heard of any straight people "coming out." They just lives their lives, and that's as it should be. I don't see why it has to be different for us. We can just live our lives, and when it comes up we deal with it as casually as most straight people do. Like, if a straight person comes to a gay-straight alliance meeting and somebody asks if they're gay, and they say no, they're straight. That seems like a reasonable way to handle things. When we feel that we need to tell someone, we tell them. Just live out! I know that there are circumstances, like when we need to tell our mother or spouse. but that's not the case for everyone.