I just came out :/

Hey there! I was too late to wish you good luck Your dad's reaction is pretty logical, and it's not too bad, right? But it's pretty annoying that your mom's stereotyping!! I'm a girl and I've loved gaming when I was a little kid, do people think I might be trans? NO! But when a little boy plays with barbie dolls, people tend to think something like that wayy earlier, which is so annoying!! It's extra stupid, because your mom does like male things herself, so I really don't understand that! I hope she'll realize that what she said, is pretty freaking stupid and that she's really hurt your feelings... And do you always have to show it?? That's pretty ridiculous, that's (to me) the same as people who think that girl who dress tomboy-ish are lesbians, like: It's a clothing style, not a sexual preference!!!! So yeah, I'm kinda ranting... :/
But your parents never suspected it?
*hug*

 

Congratulations on taking the courage the come out to your family.

You have come out now when you have felt it - which is indeed a good thing. Don't worry now. Things will get sorted in time. You can't expect it to go smoothly. Just remember you are neither late nor early. Everything happens with time. And may be now was the perfect time for you. Stay relaxed.

Take care of yourself and build other important aspects of your life such as your character, personality, skills, interests, career, - which will make you a better person in future. Gender & sexuality is just a part of us and it does not define the person.

May be 2 years ago you would be confused and not confident to handle the situation, may be 10 years down the line - it would not matter whether you come out now or some time later/back. Stay cool. You will be fine.

Good luck

 

Hello OddPink1! First, congrats on having the courage to come out!

Don't lose hope, your mom's reaction is very similar to my mom's when I came out to her, but the other way around. She also said that "I might be confused" and that "I didn't hate dresses or anything when I was 5", things like that. Don't worry! It might take some time, but she'll hopefully turn around. It took my mom nearly two months to get used to the idea, but now she no longer rejects it and says she just wants me to do whatever makes me the happiest.

What you should keep in mind is that even though you knew who you were for a long time, the possibility of you being transgender probably never occurred to your mom before. It's especially hard for parents because they raised you believing they had a son for years and it comes as a shock to them when you come out. Many parents go through a "grieving process" of sorts when their child comes out to them.

Your mom in particular seems to be in denial. What I would suggest is to give both your parents some space to sort out their own feelings and thoughts, but definitely remain firm in telling them what you know. What I did was to back off a little and we didn't talk directly about my gender for several days, but I didn't hesitate to refer to myself as my real gender.

Both your parents also might be confused as to what being transgender actually means. Throughout this period of time, I found it helpful to send my mom articles and videos which explained what being transgender entails, and how parents can help their trans* kids. The more they learn about it, usually the less they are afraid of the changes which might be ahead.

Best of luck to you! (&&&)

 

Congratulations on coming out to your parents. And remember this, two years from today, you won't have to be saying 'I wish I'd come out two years ago.' Instead you'll be saying, 'wow, it's been two years since I've come out, and I feel so good about it.' Your dad's reaction sounds really good. your mom is going through some denial. you may want to look at this page if you haven't seen it before, or read it again as a refresher: Empty Closets - Parent and Family Stages of Grief
and the best part of reading that link is seeing that even though there may be some rough days to go through, it eventually gets to ACCEPTANCE! (&&&)

 

imma be straight forward and please do excuse my lang and words...... THATS COMPLETE BULLSHIT AND WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOUR PARENTS THINK THAT??!!!!?!?!?!?!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!?????? eh em..... do excuse me...... anyway im quite mad myself atm so thats why im all ragey but for real? why would they say that to you, i mean dont you think they should be like "oh shit i never knew that, it must be hard for you to come out to us about it" or mabye, "sorry sweetie we love you no matter what" or SOMETHING BETTER THAN "OH YEA LETS USE MODERN MEDICINE TO "FIX" YOU AS IF YOU ARE BROKEN" i mean WTF mom and dad GJ on being parents of the year!!!! and still im not just trying to dis your parents, i just find it very rude of them to say that. (sigh) rage mode off. alright well i do wish you the best of luck sweetie <3 please do well and keep us posted - lily

 

First off, you're very brave for being able to tell them about your transgender dysphoria.
Second off, don't expect them to understand right away.
Depending how they personally took it, they might be going through some stages of grief and/or denial.
Just give it time and give them the resources and help them learn.
You got this.

---------- Post added 9th Feb 2015 at 04:32 AM ----------

I'm sure once they get the education, her parents will realize what transgender dysphoria is and realize it isn't a phase or an act of rebellion and they'll be more understanding. It's just the initial shock, they'll understand with time.

 

oh dear god i hope so or lily gonna have to kick some ass XD

 

Bahah we'll have to hope for her parents sake (&&&)

 

damn right girl <3 anyway dont worry about your parents sweetie <3

 

if you wanna cuddle just tell me <3 (cuddles oddpink)

 

and i hugging my pikachu pillowpet :3

 

Wow, your mom's so ignorant and it's pissing me off that she's blaming all those people and things, when they're clearly not the 'cause' of this, so, just wow! I want to crawl though the computer screen and just give you a long hug and some tea(coffee? IDK what you like better... (*hug*) so yeah just hold on, and hope they'll get it in the future... When's the doctor's appointment? I hope that'll go well, and maybe if your parents will hear it from a proffessional, they'll maybe accept it better??IDK
Just, (*hug*)

 

You're welcome and yeah, me too, I feel like I found some really nice people and I've just gotten some really good advice. Also, TBH I didn't really know too much about anything in general, and I've learnt so much, (like what is MTF, I didn't know, but now I do ). I'll have tea, I don't really like coffee...
I do think it might be a good idea to tell her how you feel about it, and hey we're here, your friends are there for you and I don't know why I'm getting so emotional, because now I'm crying, so I hope with all my heart they'll get to their senses and just accept you whoever you are/want to be (*hug*)
BTW, I hope your appointment is going to be soon though