I'm gonna start off with some back story: I'm 26 (going on 27 in a few months), and I've known I'm bi since I was...19-ish? Didn't really talk about it to anyone but a counselor late in my college years. Came out to a few close friends within a few months, and I came out "officially" (you know, "Facebook official") a few years ago. The majority of people I have on Facebook are friends, and a few cousins here and there. My mom's on there now, but on the restricted list so I can prevent her from seeing certain things like my preferences. I've had a couple boyfriends (2 months, and 3 years) but we never went all the way (long story). There was this friend I was SUPER close to (not as close now). I met her in high school and we became best friends really quickly. She's 100% straight, and I didn't realize it at the time but I totally fell for her. Didn't realize it, but it took 5 years to realize I had feelings for her, and another 2 years to get over her. My parents knew her fairly well and saw us together all the time. She's the touchy-feely type, while I was like...totally touch-phobic. (I'd react like, "...you're leaning on me. Why? What is this? What am I supposed to do?? STOP THE LEANING.") A bunch of my friends thought her and I were together, but we really weren't. I have no idea if my parents thought so, but I just learned recently that apparently most of her family knows I liked her. :icon_redf Her mom even asked her in the past if I liked girls, and that was not that long after I'd come out to close friends. ------------------------- Fast forward to now: I feel like my mom and I have been through a lot, especially now that my dad's pretty much out of the picture (my mom considers them separated, because he hasn't contacted her personally--not through emailing me--in well over a year). On top of that, we're planning a 3-week vacation to the UK later this year, and I would like to take a peek at the LBGT scene there, if possible. It feels like I'm hiding some big thing by not telling her that I'm bi, but at the same time...I've always had this "need-to-know basis" mentality about telling parents stuff like this. I don't have anyone I'm currently interested in, so it's not like I can just bring a girlfriend home and be like "so, mom, we're dating." I also have NO idea how she would react. Yes, I'm still financially dependent on her, and I'm really bad at reading people, so I don't know how she feels about non-heterosexuality in general. A close friend of mine says she probably knows (using this thing we call "mom powers"...basically, mother's intuition), but I don't know! Should I tell her or should I continue waiting and keeping her on a need-to-know basis? :help:
well, if you are really hoping to explore the scene will in the UK with your mom, then it sounds like you have reached the point where she has "the need to know." The two of you sound pretty close. Good luck!
Thing is, I don't really talk to her about much that's personal except when I start a relationship with someone and when we break up. I'm not sure how I should bring it up with her. Is a letter too cowardly? Will I have the guts to bring it up face to face? I don't know! D=
I was 26 when I came out to mom. It was about the scariest thing I think I've ever done in my life, and I had no idea how she would take it. I told her to her face...20 seconds of insane courage...and it was soooooo worth the weight it took off my shoulders. I agree with your friend about the "mother's intuition"--there's a good chance she knows, or at least suspects. There's probably also a pretty good chance that she'll be ok with it--maybe not exuberant about it--but at least ok. I think you should tell her, using whatever method you feel good about. If you two don't normally talk about personal stuff, then maybe it'll open that door. Or maybe it'll remain something that you don't normally talk about. Either way, you'll know that she knows and you won't have to worry about hiding it from her. Be brave! ;-)
You might say your orientation is not a choice, so its neither their nor your fault.. Empty Closets - For Parents ->The credible scientific literature ... And you might say that your orientation is only a part of you... you are still the same... (*hug*)(&&&)
a letter is fine. if that is what you are comfortable with, go with a letter. I can actually be quite a good way to sort out your thoughts and make is concise. and it can give her a chance to digest it, and to re-read it if she needs to let it sink in.
