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Do I need a girlfriend to come out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Amy Deveraux, Feb 8, 2015.

  1. Amy Deveraux

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    When my ex became my ex and I finally accepted myself, I told my best friend that I am gay, but she scoffed at me. Said I was just a woman scorned and that the guy is out there. However, I don't think the guy is out there for me or that I'll ever be able to connect emotionally to a male that isn't gay. One of my family members that I told said oh it is because you were a rape victim for eight years and you're just confused. I did consider that, I shut off during sex and that maybe there might be this guy that changes it. I had another friend that said oh you're chasing a fantasy. I really don't have any gay friends in real life. Will be only take me seriously if I get a girlfriend and come out. How will I even meet others like me?:bang:
     
  2. Images and Words

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    can i give a one word answer based on the title?
    no.
    if your friend says that
    then that's her opinion, but it doesn't mean it's true. you've came to the conclusion that you are who you are, and if you think you're gay, who cares. nobody has the right to tell you who you're attracted to except you.
    hope this helped (*hug*)
    i&w
     
  3. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    the answer to your title question is no. this is totally your call, you are the only one who knows your orientation, and you are the only one who gets to say what it is. as far as your friends reactions, be patient with them and love them in their ignorance. maybe they will have an epiphany at some point. take comfort in the fact that once you told them, you were out. there's nothing more you need to do other than go on living your life as a happy, fulfilled gay woman. oh, and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!
     
  4. jay777

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  5. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    that! :thumbsup:
     
  6. ANewDawn

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    You definitely don't need a girlfriend to come out. You're gay regardless of whether you're dating someone. And in terms of coming out to your family, it might be easier to come out when you're single, so there's no fall girl for them to blame.
     
  7. Amy Deveraux

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    Thanks everyone!
     
  8. indiqo

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    no to everything

    you do not need a girlfriend to come out

    being disappointed by a previous relationship does not determine a persons sexual/romantic orientation

    experiencing sexual trauma is not thought to determine sexual/romantic orientation. there is no evidence base for this. it is a very old theory which has never been proven to be correct

    I can relate to what you are saying because I'm so tired of the latter being applied to gay people. it makes things so much more difficult, both integrating in society and discovering/accepting oneself.