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Crazy Emotions!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SadConfusedBandGeek, May 20, 2007.

  1. SadConfusedBandGeek

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    Hey you guys, just wanted to express my feelings to see if anyone else feels the same.

    In the last two hours i have gone through so many moods its not even funy. At first this mrning i was ok with my feelings and stuff, and i figured out. "Hey i can live this way, I'm Happy!" Just so you know happiness is high on the priorities of my family, and i've been told over and over. "Make sure you do what makes YOU happpy". Then i was watching TV and there was a gay couple getting married. I felt no objection to it, but then something overcame me and i started crying and thinking. That i had screwed everything up and how i was such an idiot. Then i was really po'd at myself and was convincing myself how wrong and stupid being gay was and how i totally just riuined my life and what a bad person i was.

    Then i thought of you guys, and it hit me so hard. You are all so nice, and I've only been here for barely a few days. I flipped out cause i was such a jerk and there is nothing wrong with being gay and your all such great people! I felt so bad for how i was thinking before, i hope you can all forgive me! :frowning2:

    After i calmed down a bit i was still sad i was gay and i dont want to be but there is nothing wrong with it. Then i had to clean the bathroom(fun to know) and everytime i walked past the mirror i would look at myself and say "Your gay, its normal and i love you" Cause i do love myself <3 Not in a conceded or a gross way but i do. Then i was watching tv again and i saw this really hot guy and it was so cool in a sense that "I am aloud to say he is hot! I am gay!"

    But all i really really want is 2 things
    1. To know for sure if i am gay, which i know only i can decide.
    2. To know how i feel about it, because after feeling all these things i am so tired and confused but i hope i can figure it out someday!

    And i have a tip too lol (SWEEET:stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:)
    For people who get really emotional or really confused bout these things, should find something that akways calms you down. Like for me its playing musical instruments it totally zaps all the anger out of me and i can calm down so fast (which is why i am a band geek:wink:):eusa_booh
     
  2. Jim1454

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    Hey Band Geek. It's totally ok to be overwhelmed by those kinds of feelings! And that they come in rapid succession is not really unusual either. This is a very big deal, and not something that you arrive at easily. Give yourself time - don't feel pressured to accept it or like it in a certain time frame. It will eventually come.

    I'm glad you think so much of the folks in here - they're great, aren't they? :eusa_clap

    So take your time, hang out here for a while, and feel free to share your emotions with us - even if they are bad ones. (*hug*)
     
  3. amanda

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    Hi sad and confused, i'm really glad i read your post, cause it has helped me understand some of the same emotions i have had over the last 3 weeks, sort of.
    I know for sure at this point that i am 99% lesbian and 1% straight. I am ok with it, but i know why i kept it secret for so long. Because society isn't...
    For the first time in my life i feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel like i have a purpose to my life, 1 week ago i was considering suicide, now i am so happy to be alive, i can't wait to experience the joy of intimacy that most others get to experience without being looked down upon. I have reached the point now that i don't care if people look down on me. Life is short, and i want to live it while i'm still alive. LOL.
    So anyway, thank you sad and confused for being one more person to help me find myself.
    Amanda
     
  4. SadConfusedBandGeek

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    awwee :slight_smile: No problemo