This is gonna be like word vomit so I apologize. I have way too much stress on me right now I'm feeling really tired and emotionally ill. I'm 17 and have yet to come out of the closet but I know that both of my parents are not accepting and may even kick me out of the house and not let me in if I come out. I also have a girlfriend right now we are an hour away from each other and in a long distance relationship for half a year now but we're planning on meeting more often and being physically together more this year and the next. I am really stressed out in general because I have no idea where I'm going to be in the next year even, I want to come out next year or the year after when I'm at least 18 but I am so scared of the reaction and getting kicked out of the house even. My girlfriend says I can stay with her family and I know I can go to an aunt's for a week if I do get kicked out but after that I'm really just worried about my long term living plans. I don't know if I can return back to my house without being asked to be straight since I'm under their roof or if I'll suffer lots of verbal abuse and I'm afraid of my parents becoming more restricting especially when they find out I have a girlfriend, like not letting me leave the house or cutting off my phone. I'm really stressed put even more about my school. I have no idea what the heck I should do in terms of education. I can go to community college but if I get kicked out and go to my girlfriend's home to live with then I'd be too far away from my local college and if I get into a UC or Cal State school then my parents may cut off paying for it if I come out and my living situation is messed up so I'm not sure how I'd commute. I'm just stressed out because I don't have it all together right now, there's so much missing in my life. I'm so STRESSED. I have to think about my mental health also because I have OCD and I'm recovering now but still, I have knee pain, PCOS, family, health, school, I'm not even sure what I want to do when older, I need a job, and then I'm just starting to learn how to drive. I have nothing together right now I am so stressed out.
Hi Cutiepop, I just read your message. Being 16 - 18 years old is hard enough, because you are thinking of so many things in one go. With some people they want to please everybody, but not themselves. In a way it is normal, because you are struggling to find yourself and you want to get there as soon as possible. You can take or leave my advice, but if you want to make it easier on yourself. The most important thing as you know, is your education. I know, you said you haven't really thought about it, but if you have a little bit of an idea of what you feel you might like to do in college, then your set. In most cases, some people end up doing or not doing the thing that they want to do in the first, because priorties and dreams sometimes change. When it comes to the next year, things will naturally change regardless and it will change sometimes for a reason or things just happen because they do. When it comes to relationships, if you are studying at college at a long distance, you and your girlfriend would have to think of a plan or a routine in how you will see each other or split your time, so that you visit when you can. In some cases, I am not saying all cases, depending on the relationship of anybody straight, gay or alien, sometimes they don't work out. Due to being in different places, seeing new people and experiencing things that they might not be able to do, if they were with their significant other. Maybe you and your girlfriend might be different and prove everybody wrong, but both of you have got to consider the fact that both of you are so young that things might change, if the both of you want different things out of life. In terms of dealing with your parents when coming out. Wait until you are fully established and more confident to deal with this situation. From the sounds of your message, you are not ready to come out now. You are in the stage of your life, where everything is going to change and you feel like you are taking on so much. In your situation right now, it's too much. I'm not saying supress who you are for the longest time or hide your girlfriend or anybody you are dating and don't tell your parents. Wait until you have a life for yourself and you feel that you are ready to deal with your parents when the time comes. If you fear that finance might be a problem, if you are going to college, ask them and I'm sure they will be willing to help you to put you in the right direction, so that you feel like you are not on your own. I haven't been in the same situation as you, I recently overcame having high anxiety. So, I know more or less what it's like to have stress you feel that you can't take control of. The best thing to do, is to take whatever positive and logical advice that is said to you and take a minute to digest it and sort it out. I'm not a specialist of any kind, I am saying this from experience as I did that very thing of thinking too quickly, so that I ended up getting more stress and anxiety than needed, I hope this helps?
