I've come out to my parents and 2/3 sisters about being gay. I'm being pressured to come out to the other sister, who knows something's up. I'm not at all close to her and don't feel the need to tell her, but it's kinda weird if she's the only one who doesn't know. We're already awkward around each other and I feel like telling her will make it worse, though we only see each other once every few months. I'm also worried about what her husband will say - he's very religious and doesn't like to keep his opinions to himself. Idk if I should tell her just for the sake of being out to the whole family, or invest energy into keeping it a secret from her and insisting the rest of my family do the same.
I am in a similar scenario. At the end of the day we are forced to go with our gut and make the judgement call. I have decided not to tell my older sister because she will use it as ammo to hurt my other relationships with family and friends. She loves drama. I believe if I was in your shoes I would leave well enough alone...don't pursue a situation that might leave you feeling more hurt and worse than before you told her. I believe honesty is the best policy but some people will never be ready or willing to accept the truth. Good luck!
First, Congratulations on coming out! When you're feeling pressured, the best thing to do is to step back and reflect on it for a while. To those who are pressuring you, it should suffice to tell them that you may come out to her at some point, but that you are not at that point yet. and then they came make all the arguments that they want to try to change your mind, but you don't need to respond to their arguments point by point. Instead, you just stick by what you have said, thank them for their perspectives, and then take all the time that you need. If there is a point where if feels right, then you can tell her. If there never comes that point, you don't need to tell her. There is, of course, no way to stop someone else who knows from telling her, but if she or her husband bring it up you can just respond that you don't wish to discuss it with them. If the husband gets rude and hateful, well you just don't need to be around people who are rude and hateful. Hopefully, people will just respect your boundaries. (&&&)
