I identify as pansexual and in the past had relationships with women and one transsexual woman. Recently met a guy and it seems possible things might develop there. So, compared to a few weeks ago there's a major shift in who I consider I could be attracted to and have relationships with...but I haven't yet 'bitten the bullet' and gone ahead with something physical yet. Also I don't feel I suddenly want to start jumping into bed with a load of men, it's pretty much just this one guy I am interested in. I have one good open-minded male friend who I was thinking to disclose to a few days ago, but he's been off sick so I've had a bit more time to consider it. What do you think of the pros and cons of these options: 1. Wait until I at least kiss the guy (which might not happen) before saying I like guys also 2. Wait until I go to bed with him (may well not happen) before disclosing 3. Not make a fuss of it, just let it kinda come out naturally e.g. bring him along when i go out with friends, and say hi this is X who I'm dating. I've already told a few people that I'm open to dating the right guy if I met one I was attracted to, but because that's been only theoretical until recent weeks, it wasn't really taken too seriously and so I didn't go and declare to all and sundry. It's also not like a binary or dominant and active sexual preference like someone who is definitely gay or definitely actively bisexual with men & women roughly equally. So in some sense it would feel a bit strange to go and tell dozens of people "Hi, I decided I *might* date or fuck a guy sometime in the future...but maybe not". Any thoughts?
personally, I'm always partial to option 3. I don't think that coming out should have to be such a deliberate, painful process. Straights don't have to go through that! We should be able to just live life, and do what we're going to do. And people can "figure it out" when they see who we're with. It really shouldn't matter that much. Good luck!
