my relationship with my family is ok, but not that close. my parents have NEVER spoken to me about sex or relationships or anything of that nature. I do sorta resent them for this since they are not really doing there job properly.. anyway. as a result of this I cannot visualise myself talking to them about my sexuality. If i were straight, i probably wouldnt either so I guess thats ok right? I am very shy anyway and dont like to open up to people so for this reason i just see myself forever in the closet.... yay
Bingo! That's absolutely right! If you are from a family where sexuality is not discussed, then it makes sense that you would respect that this is the way your parents are, whether you're straight or gay. It sounds like discussing it would be uncomfortable for them and for you. And there never is an obligation to come out to anyone with whom you don't wish to share this very personal information. At some point in your life, it may become obvious to them based on who your are with and the choices you make for your life, but you don't need to worry about that today. When that time comes, I guess they'll figure it out. And they probably still won't want to discuss it. You know, I'll bet that they don't even talk about sex between the two of them. Some people are just like that. Oh, well. The important thing is that you are out to yourself! Congratulations!
thanks, this is really good advice.. I sorta wish my family was more open, because it would be nice to have their support Also I don´t really have any LGBT friends and am living abroad so don´t have a big support system around me :/
well, I come from a similar background, and it has taken a lot of pain to get to where I can understand some things. I too really wish that I had the supportive environment that some people do. On some of the threads in other fora on EC, there are mothers asking for advice whose only concern is how they can best support their children who have come out to them. But we have to work through the situations that we find ourselves in. Being abroad is probably a really good thing considering your family situation. I have never lived close to family since going off to college. I don't know what country you're in, but if there is any sort of support network there it would be worth connecting with it. If you're in Europe, this would be easy. If you are in Saudi Arabia, it may be near impossible. In either case, staying plugged in with EC is a great way to keep your head on straight and provides a great support network, even if we're not F2F. Not only can you get good advice, but you can help other people who sometimes need nothing more than to have their concerns validated, to know that someone is listening. And you'll find that help others makes us feel better in a myriad of ways. you're in a good place!
You said you are very shy and find it difficult to open up to people, and you cannot visualise yourself talking to your parents about your sexuality. In many ways, you are in the same position as so many gay people and you'll find many stories just like yours on this forum. One of the ways to overcome the difficulties of this situation is to send a letter or e-mail instead. How would you feel about that? Some people think it's too impersonal, but it needn't be if you put some time and effort into considering what you'd like to say drafting it first. In fact, it can be much more personal and really reveal the true extent of your feelings. If you look under the resources tab at the top of this page you will find some sample coming out letters that may offer inspiration. If I was coming out all over again, I'd seriously consider sending some letters or e-mails.
