Kinda homophobic friends :/

I don't know your friends or how old they are so it's a little hard for me to give advice without more detail (I'm not sure I understand what you mean when you say they "come across as homophobic".)

But perhaps I can reassure you. In my experience, when straight guys hang out - and I've pretended to be one for most of my life - sometimes they'll use derogatory comments to tease each other: "Dude, that's gay! Stop being gay! Why would you do that, that's so gay!" etc. etc. I've found that this is more common among teenage guys, but the point is, 9 times out of 10 there's no malice there. What they really mean is that's dumb or stupid or lame or some variation thereof. It's just guys ribbing on their friends. It's insensitive, yes, and as gay men I'm sure we'd appreciate it if people stopped using those terms in that way, but it doesn't necessarily mean your friends are homophobic.

Again, I think I need more info here. But it could be the case that your friends are just bros being bros, they haven't had much (if any) exposure to gay men, but they would think it's no big deal that you're gay. Perhaps your coming out to them would open their eyes and make them more sensitive. But if you feel that your friends are really homophobic, i.e. they hate homosexuals and think it is wrong to be gay, then I'd proceed with caution. Have they ever said anything to you along those lines?

In general, don't feel like you need to come out yet if you're not ready and if you suspect your friends' reaction will make you uncomfortable. If they're truly your friends they'll accept you for who you are, so no rush.

 

I see it this way - if someone is your true friend, they're aren't going to have a problem with you being LGBT even if they come across as being homophobic. If they do have a problem, delete them out of your life. Literally.

I had a male friend who would always say homophobic things... I ended up telling him, and he switched his tune just like that. Apologized even. Friends are generally super chill about sexuality.

 

That sucks - I'm very sorry your friends behave that way.

Have you read the "coming out and staying out" page in the Resources tab here? There's a section there on consequences and reactions that could be helpful to you: Empty Closets - Coming Out and Staying Out

Also, have you thought about discussing coming out to your friends with members of your family or other people who know you're gay and who know your friends? They may be able to provide support, or you could enlist them as allies if you decide to come out to your friends. But again, I'd say don't rush, and come out first to the friends you trust the most.

I hope that was helpful!

 

My friends were and kinda still are like that. I have told them my sexuality and still they act the way that they do. I don't even think that they believe me because they still say 'would you do her' to the girls in school.
If you think that you are not ready to come out then don't. If your friends are not mature enough to deal with it then probably wait until you think that they are ready. It also depends on how old your friends are. Hope it all goes well.

 

I listened to a friend of mine go on a homophobic rant the other day. It pretty much ruined my day and I haven't really figured out how to talk to him again, now that I know he would want to put me to death as he said.

 

I am going to echo what most have said. If you are with a friend who is saying homophobic things, most of what they are saying is from ignorance, lack of understanding or even both. If I personally came across anyone like that, I would automatically cut myself off from them. I wouldn't want to be around that type of energy and a good excuse to move on to people who are more respectable, understand or maybe even support, cause there is no excuse for homophobic behaviour from anyone.