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Who to come out to first?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by My True Self, Feb 14, 2015.

  1. My True Self

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2015
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    Location:
    Southwestern PA
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    People I have to come out to:
    Everyone at dance (80+ people not including the teachers), about 20 people at church, my possibly supportive best friend, my youth group leader, my mom, my slightly homophobic grandpa, my uncle, another uncle, two aunts, my cousin who's a year younger than me but supportive of LGBTQ+ people, a whole bunch of religious friends from camp, all my followers on instagram (62), 2 of my very distant cousins and one of their spouses (Never met the other one's husband so he doesn't need to know.), my great aunt, and my older cousin's wife (My older cousin already knows so she might help me tell her.).


    How should I come out to people? Unless I wrote it down I don't know how they feel about LGBTQ+ people. I feel lonely and misunderstood because I'm not very close to many people other than my older cousin that I already came out to (I'm just going to refer to her as K from now on.). What order should I tell people in? K has tried to help me out (*hug*) :icon_bigg but she lives 30 minutes away :icon_sad: :tears: and it's stressful to not know anyone in this town that can help (The town has 8 churches and 800 people :eusa_doh: .).
     
  2. Belle the Bee

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Michigan
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    It all depends on the people I quess, but my plan is to come out to my sister, mom, then a few friends,in that order. Maybe talk to your cousin and find out who she came out to first.
     
  3. Lyana

    Full Member

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    Location:
    France
    Why do you have to come out to all these people? And do you have to, or want to?

    The first people to tell, I think, are those who fall into one or both of these categories:
    - Those closest to you: best friends, family members, because they are the ones who matter to you
    - Those you know will be supportive, because it will give you a confidence boost, make you feel good, and it's safe

    Do 20 people at your church really need to know? Do 80 people at dance really need to know? If you're not close to them, you don't have to go up to all of them and say "I'm gay." Telling the people closest to you, then just "being out" in life (not censoring yourself, being honest when someone asks you if you're going to get a boyfriend anytime soon, that kind of thing), could also work.
     
  4. My True Self

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2015
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Southwestern PA
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I''m not sure whether I will come out at dance or not but I'm definitally telling people at church because thanks to the way people in this town are they'll probably fibd out either way.