I've always sort of known that I feel attracted to guys but I only came to terms with it around 8th grade or 1st highschool year. I didn't feel the need to come out then. The boy I had a crush on was straight. Most of my friends would probably vanish. People would talk. And I wasn't going to get a boyfriend or hook up or anything like that. I used to tell myself that once I finished highschool I would come out, and this year I'm starting university. Most of the random people I knew have already vanished but I still make a lot of contact with my closer friends, even though I'm sure this will change on few months because everyone is going to meet new people, some will move etc. The thing is, my university course has a lot of openly gay people. The freshmen had to present on a Facebook group filling a questionnaire that contained "sexual orientation". I just put something funny so people wouldn't mind I didn't actually say what my sexual orientation was lol. One of the seniors actually told me he thought I was cute but he wasn't sure on what my orientation was lol. I just told him "does disoriented count as an answer?", it was pretty awkward. Also, the day before the first class everyone meets at a bar or smth and the freshmen, including me, will have to present themselves (thus mentioning their sexual orientation). The thing is there is another freshman (straight and homophobic) that is a close friend of a close friend of mine, so if he knows then all of my current friends will also end up knowing. I'm not sure I'm ready for them to know, but I'm sure I don't want them to hear it from somebody else. I'm sure I can't say the phrase "I'm straight" as well anymore, but screaming "I'm gay" also feels somewhat awkward. I have no clue what to do though!!! Should I like invite them to eat something and tell them? I mean at least the closest ones or the ones I don't think will mind. It's so scary and I have so little time (a week or so) x___x
And I thought my situation was hard! But kudos to you for thinking of all of them as well. Have you considered the orientation "bi/curious"? If you hadn't already done anything with anyone it may be what it is. But also, it could be that you're 100% sure and just don't want to lose what connections you already have. I'm in pretty much the same position you are. I am starting university this year and there are a lot of open LGBTQ people at the school but I still don't want to face full judgment or anything from my current friends. Maybe try telling the closest ones first, and if you feel comfortable then family as well, and see how it goes. In regards to your homophobic friend, I am at a sincere loss for advice on that one, unfortunately. I hope you figure it out soon!
Thank you very much for answering!! Well I am 100% sure I'm gay =P The thing about that "friend" is that he's not actually a close friend and I couldn't care less about him, but he's taking the same course as I am and he's close to other friends of mine. So, if I come out at university he will know and tell my other friends and everyone would know. At the same time I just can't join university in the closet. I don't want anyone to meet me thinking I am straight you know? It's easier if they know it from the start. So I think I'm going to have to deal with my current friends even though I'm not very comfortable with it yet. I just don't know what would be the best/easiest way to do it.
To be honest, if you don't care about this homophobic guy then you shouldn't care about his opinion, however do be careful because he could potentially try to cause you harm just for the hell of it. The likelihood is that once you get to uni, you won't see him much (I know you're taking the same course but do you really think you're going to be class buddies and staying in each others pockets all the time? Nope you won't, it will be a lot different, a lot different from school). I do think it would be a good idea to come out to your true friends though as they seem legit from what you say but don't feel pressured to. Now about this questionnaire, you could just say it's private? If you don't want to scream to the world 'I'm gay' then that's ok To be honest, if you want people to know then you just tell them in your own time, you don't have to make a big fuss over it and the likelihood is that no one will really care (unless they are a bunch of homophobics, but there seems to be an LGBT community so I doubt this will be the case ) Good luck with uni and I wish you the best for the future I hope my babble has helped in some way hhaha
This sounds like a situation for a subtle coming out, such as making your status known on Facebook and letting the word spread around, while letting any new people who want to meet you because you are gay get a clear GO signal. Your old friends are going to lose contact with you, some of them will think, "Aha, that explains a lot" and move on without further contact with you, a few of them may contact you and say "Me too" and surprise you, and you will build a new circle of friends who are comfortable with you just as you are. Your old image that other people had of you is like runway behind you in an airplane, it doesn't make any difference about where you are taking off to. You need to align your public image with your self-image so that you don't feel the need to confuse or deceive people who are going to participate in your future; you don't have to shout it out loud and wear rainbow tie-dyed shirts, but you need to make the information quietly available to people who see you, like you, and want to be your friends, knowing your orientation from the start.
