Ever since I came out to my parents my Mum has just ignored it and not said a word about it - well after the days of crying and walking out of the room when ever I came in. As much as I don't like it and it hurts to know she doesn't approve and thinks it disgusting I could at least like with it but now she has started going on about guys, safe sex and making sure I don't get pregnant when there is know way that is ever going to happen and she knows it even if she won't admit it. It is all driving me insane and I just don't know how much more I can put up with but I can't talk to her about it because I don't think I could put up with more crying and stuff like when I first came out especially this close to NCEA exams when i am stressed out enough.
Sounds like you're just going to have to roll your eyes and ignore her for the next little while. (Don't you manage to do that when it come to her asking you to clean up your room or help with the dishes? jk!) You've got enough on your plate right now without worrying about all that. The fact of the matter is you're gay. You can't control that. Your mom doesn't like it. You can't control that either. You're letting her get to you. Now THAT you CAN control.
We all have our way of dealing with things. Your mother has decided to deal with your homosexuality by simply pretending it doesn't exist. Her talking about boy and pregnancy avoidance is the adult version of walking around with your fingers in your ears going "la la la I can't hear you". Not THAT much more adult, though. You have two options. You can try dragging her into reality, but as you said, it'll mean more crying and drama and stress. Or you can let it slide. Let her handle it this way. Don't lie about anything, but answer her in ways that make her feel comfortable. So if she talks about pregnancy, you can say something like "Oh, you can bet I won't let any guy near my bed without a condom on." Because it's true. You probably won't let any guy near your bed, period, but no need to go into that. Lex
she need to get over you being a lesbian. she does still love you even if you was bi or trans-gender and dont worry about it!
How is your Dad handling things? Could he be somebody that you can confide in and maybe get to talk to your mom about her behavior?
He's busy ignoring it too not quite as obviously as my mum but when i first told them he told me that he never dated or really liked anyone until he meet mum and it is probably just the same for me and I will meet the right guy some time if I just wait and that all this gay stuff is just a phase. And he seemed more worried about hurting mum then how i was feeling and kept telling me to think about how hard it was on her - he never seemed to think how hard it is on me so i don't think he would want to bring it up with her even if I asked.
Well if your Dad is talking in a calm manner maybe you could get him to read the PFLAG information. Do you think he would do it?
I gave them some PFLAG pamphlets that my school guidance counselor gave me a couple of days after I first came out to them, I think they read them because mum mentioned something about it but since then I haven't heard a thing about it again.
BRAVO!!! Good for you for taking advantage of the counseling at school; keep it up. I am very impressed that your guidance counselor gave you information on PFLAG to give to your parents. By handing your parents these pamphlets, you have put valuable information in their hands that they would not otherwise have. They may not want to look at it right away or while you are around, but it's there for them to look at if and when they get ready. Another website that I feel is very valuable and helpful that may help you and your parents is www.familyacceptance.org Knowledge is a wonderful thing. Keep your head up and keep smiling! We're all rooting for you!!
I'm going through something similar to you, because my mother is Catholic and I am Wiccan. She will not accept my religion, and insists that it is just a vague interest of mine. She too is adopting the 'Lalalalalala I can't hear you' technique as Lex put it so well. The only way I have found to get through it is to grow a think hide and let all of the comments wash over my head, you wont always be living under you parents roof so you can't let them influence your lifestyle decisions.
