Hi! So here's what's going down, I'm a freshman in high school. When I was in eighth grade, I came out to one of my close friends (lets call her lily for now) through a text. Although she promised to me to keep it a secret, she began telling people that I am gay. I ended up losing a lot of freinds but at the same time getting new ones. I luckily got to stay with my best freind since he tends to be quiet and never found out from the rumors. One and a half semesters and one summer later, now I'm in high school and did not know a soul (most people I knew went to diffrent schools), and never came out to another person all that time. I really want to come out to my new-new friends but I've always been extremly shy (like afraid to ask for somthing mundane like a pencil-kind of shy). Most of the people I want to come out to, I'm too afraid to ask for emails, phone #'s, etc, and I would prefer to come out in person instead of waiting for replys that may or may not even show up.
Hi JooBooGoo, You are a very admirable teenager, but if I was in your position. You have enough to worry about and content with. I'm not saying coming out is a bad thing no-no, you have probably heard of this before, you are still in high school and you've got your life ahead of you. I know you want to have it over and done with, but the most important thing is to concentrate on your future, once that you are fully established in either college or somewhere down the line, you will be able to deal with this situation and have more experience under your belt. I'm not saying to not come out, because you are obviously staying true to who you are. If your parents do find out, it's your choice to tell them or not, because everyone's rate is different. The best thing to say to them is that you obviously love them, but you realise school work comes first. Lastly and most importantly enjoy the times when your at school, because you only in high school for one time, and thinking about coming out the times that you are there is going to distract you, so have fun with your friends and be fifteen years old. I hope this helps?
I did a bit of Facebook stalking this morning and it turns out that lily took down her post about me about a month ago (I don't use social media all that much). And I found on Tumblr that there is a GSA group at my school that I hope to start going to. I just came out to my best friend who I've had a crush on for the longest time (I didn't tell him that I like him though) and he was cool with it. If you haven't already read my profile, I am currently playing tuba in marching/concert band, and trombone in the jazz band. So as you can imagine, things have been pretty fun this year extracurricular-wise.
JooBooGoo....Welcome to EC! A band geek! Yay! I was a band director for 41 years. Those kids you make friends with in band, especially marching band will be some of the best friends you'll ever have. I marched my band in Washington many times.Yes...school comes first...right now school is your "Job", so make it your first priority. However, at the same time, don't be false to yourself. You don't need to shove the fact that your gay in anybody's face and if it doesn't come up, you don't need to bring it up. Gay bulling in HS can be pretty bad...just depends on your friends and teachers. I hid the fact that I'm gay my entire life (I'm 64 years old) and regret it in some ways. Find the right time, the right place and the right people to come out to. Don't come out just to shock people or in the middle of a fight with your parents...it's not a "weapon" to use on others....that will usually backfire on you. It's true that you're only in HS once, so enjoy it and let the other happen when the time is right......David
the GSA group sounds like it could be a good place to be, and a lot of fun. as for everyone else, what matters is not whether or not you tell them, but that you just be comfortable being yourself, being comfortable in your own skin. don't worry about "acting" straight, just be yourself. enjoy being with people you click with. do things that you like, and that make you happy. high school can be a tough time, so just don't put yourself in a position that makes it tougher. hang with the kids who accept you for being you!
Not sure if this is entirely true, but i'd imagine that having a GSA is a good sign of acceptance and a large LGBT community in your area. Try going to facebook and typing "friends who are interested in men". Odds are you will have at least one person as a result. Try talking to them about there experience with coming out (especially if they have mutual friends). If you want, you could start by family and close friends and updating your "interested in" status. I'm proud of you for being able to come out at 15.
