Coming out as bisexual before coming out as homosexual?

I came out to my school as bisexual first, because I honestly thought that I was bisexual. But then I discovered that I wasn't bisexual, and that I only like girls, not girls and guys. So then I had to come out again as lesbian. And it sucks because everyone questions me about it and yeah it just sucks. Good thing I didn't come out to my family as bi.

 

Hi,

For me, It's none of anybody's business in how someone comes out. I used to know someone who came out to me as bisexual, then eventually came out again as gay. It really depends on how the person feels inside, because some people may not feel bisexual, but more of questioning, which is the better term to put it as. Because for some people when someone comes out as bisexual, some people think it's a 'stepping stone' to being gay and might take offence. Sexuality as we all know can't be 'defined' there was a storyline on a UK television show where a gay guy falls in love with a straight woman, so it doesn't matter if you gay, bi, straight or some sort of sexuality. It doesn't matter how someone feels inside, because it's how they are defined and not by a label of what society feels they should be. As I said earlier, it's no one's business for anyone label or tell someone how they should come out as, because it should be from the heart and instinct and not from someone else.

 

I just want to agree with this. People should come out in the way that feels best to them, that's least stressful, or however they want to.

That said, I don't think it's necessarily easier to come out as bi first, gay later. Some people are going to assume you're gay from the moment you say you're bi. Others will continue to think you're bi, or even straight, even once you've come out as gay.
I do think it has the potential to be harmful, especially if it's consciously done, because people tend to have this idea that bi people are "still in the closet" and they'll eventually come out as gay.
My best friend in high school came out to me as bi when he was 15, then gay a year or two later. He'd known he was "bi" since he was 12 or so, but didn't figure out that he was gay until later. I certainly didn't care that he'd told me he was bi before. He was being honest with me, he really thought he was bi.

 

"I don't think it's necessarily easier to come out as bi first, gay later. Some people are going to assume you're gay from the moment you say you're bi. Others will continue to think you're bi, or even straight, even once you've come out as gay.
I do think it has the potential to be harmful, especially if it's consciously done, because people tend to have this idea that bi people are "still in the closet" and they'll eventually come out as gay."

I agree with this quote, these days it's not simple to come out as gay, when you are still questioning yourself. Because, people will still think other ways, if you come out as 'bisexual' people will think, "Oh they are gay, they just don't know it yet." From my own experience, it's best to say to people "I am questioning." Yes people will still think otherwise, but it's still none of their business, because it's your feelings and no one should feel like they are 'something' in order to please everybody. It should be thought about very carefully and not rushed, because there is no race here. Take your time, figure yourself out, before you make a decision to come out, I am not saying hide it, do it when you feel ready, established and settled wherever you are in your future, because by then you will have experience, you will know what to do if anything negative comes up and most importantly, if you have a circle of people who will support you, they will be there for you through the bad times, but if you know certain family members will support you regardless or even your parents that's great, but it's good to get a good foundation and support in case the inevitable happens. Lastly and most importantly do it for yourself and don't do it for anyone else, but you.

P.S I am still quite new to this site and I don't know how to do the quote thing (lol).

 

A friend of mine came out to myself and a group of other friends as bi first because he wasn't sure if he was gay yet but he knew he wasn't straight and he wanted to tell us. I did the same, for the same reasons. I don't think it was any easier, I cried when I typed it in Facebook chat and I would've done the same if I told them I was gay.

 

In all honesty, I don't fully support it. Not only does it give a bad impression toward actual bisexual people (That they're going through a phase and will eventually be gay or straight), but bisexuality isn't even understood or supported. To straight people it means "You like men". In other words, if you are male, you are seen as gay in denial and will come out as gay eventually. If you are female, you are seen as an attention whore that's only pretending to like women to attract guys and that you'll always end up with a guy in the end. You don't "really" like women.

It's pretty stupid for a lesbian to do this since people are going to completely ignore all female attractions you have anyway and push you on men. It's like you would have never have come out to begin with.

Not only that but there are a few bisexual women that call themselves lesbians because they find it "easier" and a lot of lesbians downright trash them and tell them to stop appropriating our label. We should give bi people the same respect.

 

Was to soften the impact for me and give me enough time to work out that I really didn't have any feelings for women. Came out aged 19

 

Did it. Worked. Enough said.