so back in december i planned to come out to everyone who mattered in my life, starting with my parents. They took it reasonably well for conservative christians and at the time i was overjoyed they hadn't been repulsed or anything. All they asked is that i stayed closeted to everyone else. they said they didn't want me to give myself a harder life, and that it was probably best to keep this to myself until i go to uni in three or so years. at the time i sort of accepted it but now i'm not so sure. it's annoying to keep this from my friends, and while i know that i'll definitely experience some bullying/harassment if i'm out knowing my school, i really want to be out to my sisters, extended family and friends. i wouldn't mind as much except my parents refuse to talk about or even acknowledge me being gay, and i feel as isolated as i did in the closet. what should i do?? any advice welcome x
Do what is right for YOU. It's not your parents' place to tell you to stay in the closet. If you want to come out to the other people in your life then do it.
You shouldn't let your parents control your life. You should do what you want to do. Nobody can control you except for yourself. If you want to come out, come out.
Here are some background thoughts on coming out... http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-stories/167212-tell-father.html#2 Well its up to you what you say since you know them best... one possibility would be to say its about love... and talk with them about their fears... often people have some fears, like neigbours or whatever... you might try to talk with them about it, not in an upset manner but in a calm manner, so you can talk about what really moves you... do you think your siblings would be accepting, or a few friends ? (*hug*)
well, you told them, so you're out to them. if they don't want to have any further discussion, fine. but you can continue to tell whomever you wish. If they ask about it, well then they are indicating that the do want to talk about it ("Oh, sorry, I didn't know that you wanted to talk about it!" hehehehehe). It's about who you are, and it's your choice. You know the people, and you can judge when it's safe and when it's not to tell someone. Congratulations on coming out! you're phenomenal!
Try talking with your parents honestly about coming out first. Maybe try baby steps, like "I want to come out to my sisters" and work your way up. I'm making an assumption, but when you were in the closet and you first thought about coming out it was probably pretty scary right? So it's probably the same for your parents, they've kinda shoved themselves into your closet and even though you're ready to bust down the door, now they're scared of coming out. If you try to talk to them and they still won't listen, I guess come out anyways. If anything it'll show them that you're serious and maybe then they'll be willing to open a dialogue.
Thanks for the help guys, I think I'll try calmly talking to them about it first, though I doubt they'll change their view. But even if they still are against me being out at least I can say I tried and I'll come out anyway...
