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Please Help!!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by badger, Feb 23, 2015.

  1. badger

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I feel myself going back into the closet slowly. I haven't told anyone besides my psychologist that I'm gay but I have been accepting it for the past 2 months. Over these past 2 months I have been determined to get my emotions straightened so I can feel comfortable and start telling my friends. However, now that time has passed, I feel less determined to tell anyone. How do I keep myself determined to tell people? This acceptance 2 months ago all started after an incident when a close friends asked me if I was gay where I denied it. Without any incidents like that one for the past 2 months, I have been coming to terms that I am in fact gay and want to do something about it, feel comfortable about it, but now possibly slowly creeping back into the closet. How do I keep on slowly creeping out of the closet instead of back into it?
     
  2. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    well, if you haven't denied it to anyone again in the past two months, I would say that you have not gone back into the closet. so don't beat yourself up! Just keep living life as you are, stay committed to not lying about it when the topic comes up, and don't feel like you have to be telling someone every 23 days for it to count as being out. Just be your authentic self, and you're out! Congratulations on all the progress that you've made!!!
    (!)(!!)(!)
     
  3. Yossarian

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Pick someone safe to let in on the secret, preferably your best friend or someone who is gay who will keep it to themselves until you are more fully out. The rest of them will get easier, one by one, until you no longer care who knows. Once you have told the first person, the closet door will not lock shut any more.
     
  4. Choirboy

    Full Member

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    Out to everyone
    It took me many months between telling the first person or two, and the next few--but once the ball really got rolling, I started telling people much more often. Your brain may still be processing this on levels you're not even aware of--there's absolutely nothing wrong with just sitting back and allowing yourself to adjust. I've had many times over the past two and a half years where I've just taken a breather from talking to people about it--and now I'm out to dozens of people. There's no timeline, and when you're ready to start telling more people, you'll know it.
     
  5. YermanTom

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Co Wicklow Ireland
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    You are out to yourself, that's important.
    Coming out to other people is scary.
    Be kind and forgiving to yourself, appreciate how far you have come, you will say it to other people but only when you are ready.