Haven't been active on EC but here I go.. So I came out to a longtime friend yay.. I thought it would be the start of a load of comming outs. The opposite happened, now months later I haven't told any one else, where I once had the courage to tell my best friends I now don't see myself telling them anytime soon. It frustrates me that my friends are so clueless about my orientation. I asked the girl I came out to did you ever think I could be gay. Her anwser: no, never... Like all my friends have very active love lives and I don't so why does no one wonder what's up with him, do they just assume I'm a loner? What makes it hard for me to come out: -Their constant talking about girls and talking to me like I'm straight, constant jokes about gays (harmless ones but they still make me think if I come out it'll create awkward situations). -They're not homophobic but some are slightly ignorant (gays are fem, gays do nasty stuff). -That they don't have any gay friends, I'll be the gay, the different one. Why does every one assume I'm straight and why don't I have any gay friends it would make things so much easier that I'm not the only one. T.T There are so many gay guys around and it would be easy for me to start dating but I just can't bring myself to see guys if I'm not out to my friends and knowing they accept me for who I am.. Thanks for reading my rant, any advise is much appreciated.
All I can say is be yourself! When I came out to my brothers they were completely shocked but accepting, one was stunned into a jaw-dropping science for about two hours (a record for him being quiet), so I know what it’s like to have people close to you not know the real you. No one suspected that I was gay, not just because I’m married! but I’m a blokes bloke, a former ninjitsu black belt and a competitive athlete , so not a screaming queen! When I came out to my family they were all totally shocked but accepted me without hesitation. The relief of not having to pretend to the people you are close to is wonderful, even though I didn’t behave any differently it was great not to have to watch everything I said. I can use the correct pronoun when talking about someone I like, I don’t have to make excuses when talking about gay rights. There are thousands of different ways of coming out, not just the “I have something to tell you” conversation, everything from a Facebook post to kissing the boyfriend in front of friends. I came out to one person during an argument and to others in a group text, not the two best ways of doing it, but the reactions were perfect. So it doesn’t matter how you come out but how you come out to. Just do it in a way, time and place that you feel comfortable with. (*hug*)
It can definitely be hard to come out to your friends when you feel you'll be the odd one out. However, if they're good friends, they'll accept you for who you are and will most likely apologize for homophobic jokes/comments. When I came out to my friends they were very accepting. I did get the whole "really, I never would have guessed you were gay!" talk, since I'm not the stereotypical lesbian, but I just laughed it off and can be myself now. Unless you're the stereotypical gay guy, which is unlikely since they're just that, stereotypes, even fellow gays will assume you're straight unless they have a good gaydar. A lot of people don't like to assume someone is gay even if they never have a significant other because they're afraid of offending someone. You know how we get offended by being read as straight? They assume we're straight because over 90 percent of the population is, and don't want to offend by labeling us as something we're probably not (even though they're wrong, lol). Just bite the bullet and tell your friends when your ready, trust me, it feels so much better to be out. The reactions were better than the anxiety before-hand in my opinion. Yes, you'll be the "gay one" in a group of straight friends, but what's so bad about that? It's who you are, just like having a certain eye color, and you should never be ashamed of it!
