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i lost my mother after coming out and i cant take it

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by joshy the queen, Feb 24, 2015.

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  1. joshy the queen

    joshy the queen
    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Lebanon
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Today my mom and i had a little gay chat i told her exactly what i feel about myself and who i want to be with
    Long story short she said she would rather stab me than hear those words about being with a man i broke down i had no choice but to lie to her and tell her that im convinced that i can be cured
    All i can think about now that i lost my mother from my side she hates me now just like my dad all those years we were always friends she is my only best friend likd hell anyone wants to be my friend
    I just cant really take it and idk why but im thinking about killing myself i lost everything my parents will never pay me to get out and study what i want which means stuck here to death
    Ilove myself but i just cant take it everyone is against me fine i can put up with strangers comments in the street and garbage throwing at me
    But the only place i felt safe my home is now full of hate
    I need someone who doesnt mock me someone to stop looking at me in a wrong way and start looking at my bright side
    Im sick of all this its so much more than i can handle now :tears:
     
    #1 joshy the queen, Feb 24, 2015
  2. bingostring

    bingostring
    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hey Joshy

    You were open and honest … and she pulls a stunt like that
    that must have hurt…

    but you are stronger … and she will come round in time

    You have not lost her and I do not think she could hate you - she just had an overload and cannot cope with the issues.

    maybe this will bring you closer together and quicker

    things will be better when a few days have passed

    remember: ''I'd rather my flame burn bright than be some puny little pilot light''
     
    #2 bingostring, Feb 24, 2015
  3. Michael

    Michael
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Joshy, if you need honest advice... Keep yourself safe first.

    I used to complain about the enviroment where I grew up in, but everytime I read your posts it feels as if I was born in Canada.

    Do whatever it takes to keep yourself safe. I'd take my own words back, and I try to blame what I said to my mom in... Just confusion, teenager confusion, something you heard somewhere, but you were wrong, whatever... You need to keep yourself safe!!

    I know it hurts, but please don't forget they are scared of what might happen to you. Their reactions only can hurt you if you let them. Words are just... Words.

    I know you are sensitive, but you can't let words to get into you. Even if you are gay, and feel girly, doesn't mean you have to give up being strong, 'cause gay and feminine men just have to be two times stronger. This world is mysoginistic and homophobic, you need to keep strong in order to survive.

    You being different is something precious. They can't see it, which means they are blind, not that you are defective... I tell you, you are precious.

    There is nothing wrong with you. Please keep posting. Even if we don't have much in common, I like you being around, just being yourself, you are a good kid.
     
    #3 Michael, Feb 24, 2015
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