Last week I came out as a lesbian to my three best friends, who all reacted positively. One was a bit, unsupportive, since she's religious but I didn't lose any friendship over it and I can see she's trying to accept me. I also came out to three of my friends at work, who have kept it quiet since they know that my state has no anti-discrimination laws, and they all completely supported and accepted me. The real issue now is telling my parents. My stepmom and I aren't that close, but I know she probably wouldn't have any issues. I'm not really itching to tell her, but I will eventually. I feel like she might already suspect it though - I've never liked any guys, never went with a guy to any dances, and if she believes in the stereotypes, I hate makeup, don't wear dresses/skirts, and hate straightening my hair. All stereotypical things that my much older and completely straight stepsisters are into. Also, the last time she told me that I had to start talking to guys or I'd never get a boyfriend I just kind of... spontaneously rolled my eyes and sighed, like having a boyfriend would be a chore. Which it would be for me, lol, I'm into girls only. She hasn't brought boys up since. Either she suspects, or she's just clueless. I've been bursting to tell my dad for months, but it's gotten unbearable. We were really close when I was younger but after my mom died we haven't talked as much. Our schedules are busy too so I can't really find a good time to talk to him when my stepmom's not around. I feel like I'm lying to him, which I practically am, since I have yet to tell him I've joined my school's GSA, and got him to sign the permission form for the local high-school dance for lgbt and allies by saying that it was only a school dance at a different school and I was going with my friends from band (who ironically are lgbt). I also feel like he might suspect it? He's brought up if I like any guys, and I always say no. He never brings up girls, but he always gives me a look whenever I mention I'm going somewhere with a friend who happens to be a girl, and then asks her name and how we met etc. Does he know or is he just interested in who I'm friends with? On the other hand though, after I once commented on "how my stepmom can make such good dinners" that I'll need to learn to cook dinner for my husband when I'm older and married. So... yeah. I really want to tell him but I don't even know where to start. I highly doubt he's homophobic. We're the type of Christians that goes to church maybe on Christmas eve once every two years, and he's never said anything bad about gay people. He once even threw in a "Did you know that this actor from this show I like is gay?" around the dinner table, and then went back to talking like it's fine. I'm just scared he'll be disappointed that I waited so long to tell him, etc.
Here are a few thoughts that might help: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-stories/167212-tell-father.html#2 Its difficult to say how people react... I'd say take the time you need... (*hug*)
sounds like he's pretty receptive. just ask him if you could have a father and daughter day out sometime, or go to lunch, just the two of you. He should be understanding of why a daughter would ask for something like that. and if the step mom is jealous, just tell her that you want to have a lunch date with just her as well. a lot of times we have relationship with our parents as if they were just one unit, instead of developing a relationship with each one of them as a person. this would be both a good opportunity to do that, and most importantly to tell you dad the big news (which I'm betting won't be such big news to him). good luck! :goodluck:
I think you should tell him when you're ready. Whenever you work up the courage to tell him, whenever you feel comfortable telling him.
