So this is an interesting question, and it may actually be better directed to the older of us. Why come out at all? I'm out to my gay friends, my wife (complicated), my sister and my dad, my mom is deceased. I feel no need to come out to anyone else. If I were asked Id tell the truth, I have no fear. Most straight people don't announce theirs, so why should we? I totally understand the better visibility leads to greater acceptance. But somehow it feels like why do I want to know what you are sexually interested in. Thoughts? Now, this doesn't mean homophobia at work would ever be tolerated. I'm second in command at work and would kill anyone for that shit. So it's not like I'm saying any of us should sit back and accept bigotry. But I'm confused. I totally understand you teenagers, I would have too.
I've thought a lot about this too. Granted, I just started to come out so I may not be the best person to address this. I personally felt that I absolutely HAD to come out to my ex-girlfriend (duh), but I don't feel a burning need to come out immediately to my parents and close circle of friends. For me, it's not so much that I want to come out as it is that I don't want to lie anymore, and I'm fed up with making excuses for why I'm not the way certain people think I should be. So if someone where to ask me if I'm gay, I'd respond truthfully. I'm done lying, but I also don't "need" everyone to know I'm gay. I agree with you in that I don't feel the need to broadcast my sexuality in neon letters to the world. For me, my sexuality and a lot of other private things about me are my business, and I think it's rude to demand others to talk about private things. Other people might feel differently though, and if they want to express their sexuality publicly, they have every right to do so. Straight people don't feel compelled to "come out" as straight, because there's no societal condemnation surrounding straightness. It's the norm. I think, in part, gay pride is a reaction against a homophobic society that makes very normative judgements about what sex should and shouldn't be. If homophobia didn't exist, maybe gay people would feel just as comfortable as straight people do, and they'd have no interest or desire in telling the world about their sexuality. Who knows? I think it depends on the person. Point is, like you said, homophobia should never be tolerated.
I agree with the OP. I understand coming out to close friends and family but not other people, like co-workers. It's none of their business. But if I were dating and someone asked THEN I would tell them a name. Given my response would be a female name, they would most likely come to the conclusion that I'm not straight. Until that happens, I've told all the people I want to.
I agree in the sense that I have no reason to tell anybody anything because I don't see myself dating or anything for the foreseeable future. Hypothetically though, I still would have no interesting in doing so. In that case, I'd rather just do my own thing and let people figure it all out on their own eventually than saying 'I'm *whatever*' or 'I like *whatever*'(both of which I have no interest in saying anyways) beforehand just because.
I think the important thing is to not feel suffocated and feel free to be who you are without fear. I guess you don't have to tell everybody but you shouldn't be afraid to tell anybody. But also, the more people come out, the more people will realize how normal it is. If everyone just stays in the closet homosexuality will probably continue to be oppressed.
Well, Sturtevant, I would say that you're out to the whole world. You've told everybody important, and you say that if anyone asks you'll tell them the truth. That's pretty much out to everybody, in my book. Living as who you are, being honest when the issue comes up, that's pretty much it. You don't have to carry a banner in the gay pride parade to confirm that you're out. Though that would certainly be a nice thing to do. If you need someone to hold up the other pole (of the banner, silly), just let me know! :lol:
You have a good point. Ellyy you make a good point too. I would like to know among acquaintances who knew, particularly fraternity brothers.
Because I get sick of people trying to talk to me abut boys. That was pretty much the entire reason I decided to come out to my parents.
