:help: I recently came out to a friend who is also bisexual. She told me that if i needed someone to talk to, I could talk to her. The problem is that I'm too nervous to talk about my sexuality or openly express it. I have never talked to another person irl about it, so I don't know the boundaries when talking about this subject. Ironically, the reason why I told her was so I could openly talk about my sexuality and hopefully further understand it. I told her that I didn't know exactly where I fall on the spectrum since, truthfully, I don't. (Thanks, fluid sexuality...) I also don't know how she is taking the news since coming out can be shocking for anybody. Basically, I would like to talk to her about people who I find attractive and if what I'm emotionally feeling to the same sex is normal. When it comes down to it, I just want to have someone I can relate to. So I guess what I'm asking is: is this nervousness normal or am I just freaking out over nothing? Are there boundaries when talking to someone with the same orientation about sexuality? Should I give her time to get use to the fact that I am bisexual? Thanks.
This nervousness is normal for YOU; doesn't matter what is normal for others. The boundaries are what the other person feels they are comfortable to talk about; they will probably inform you when you get too personal. She probably thinks of you being bisexual as it feels from her viewpoint, which may not match yours, since these things are usually points on an analog spectrum, not a digital specific certainty. If you want to point out boys you think are "hot" to her, she will let you know by her words and appearance if she is comfortable with that, even if her interest is more focussed on other girls. As long as you stay within the casual comfort zone of friendly conversation, you will likely both benefit from having someone to trust with your feelings and emotions.
it's not unusual to be nervous, but you've clearly found the right person to talk to. the best way to get over the nervousness is to talk to her. the reassurance will make you comfortable, and it will actually make it easier to eventually talk to other people. good luck.
