So, She already knew I was gay... I've became more open about it to everyone who asks pretty much! We were in the Emergency Room with one of her patients last night and somehow the subject about me being gay came up.. So she recalled my ex [was about a year ago, which was a chick!] She said, Did you and her have sex? I was like, This is not the time and place for this conversation and of course she proceeded to push the situation.. So I eventually told her, Yes mom I did once. She then proceeded to say, How could you lose something that special to someone you didn't love? I replied, Mom you don't know if I loved her or not! So, Then after that she was pretty pissed off. Then somehow the subject got even deeper and I mouthed something back you don't know half the shit that's went on in my life so why start knowing them now? She was like, What else has went on? She never knew about me being sexually abused as I was really young and didn't really know what to do when it happened. So I proceeded to tell her that and she said, Jarrod why didn't you tell me sooner? Response; I was too young to know what to do! I don't count me being sexually abused me losing my virginity, But I do count it with the chick. I have a feeling shes still pretty pissed, But at least I was honest with her... I hope this will bring us together more.. As I have always wanted a close relationship with her.. Although, She doesn't accept me as being gay, I can deal with that as long as she doesn't try to change me! So, Do you guys think I did the right thing by telling her all this stuff?
I think you were right to tell her, although the circumstances probably could've been better. She sounds like she was reaching out, wanting to learn more, and it'd been better if you'd been more receptive to that. I can understand why you were pissed, but still, it was an opportunity that could've been handled better. If you think you can, apologize to her for it. It doesn't have to be a tearfilled, I'm-awful sort of thing. Just "I was a bit touchy last night talking about what happened, and I may have said some stuff a bit rougher than I should've. Sorry about that." Why do that? Because it's the adult thing to do. And the more you act like an adult, the more your mother will be forced to treat you like one. Lex
It is always good to be honest with your mom. The circumstances like Lex said may not have been the best but it something she felt like she needed to know. Just try to work with her. It sounds like there may be more questions that your mom may have that you may or may not feel comfortable talking to her about. I hope it does bring you and your mom closer. Good luck!
Have you or have you thought to give your mom some PFLAG info? If not,then that may help. Becky is someone to talk to about this. Just talk to her,calmly. If it starts to get really emotional,tell your mom that you'll talk more when it's calmer. And,I agree,apologize. I also agree with,the more you act like an adult,the more you'll get treated like one. Best of luck. Mickey*
Hi Jerrod! You and your mother should check the law in the state that the sexual abuse occurred in and see if the statute of limitations has run out. Most states either don't have a statute of limitations on sex crimes or they are pretty liberal. If you know who abused you when you were younger, be honest with your mother and tell her. Your next step should be contacting the authorities and the District Attorney in the area that the crime occurred. Don't let this person get away with this. You deserve justice! Good luck to you, pal!
@thug: To be honest, I don't even want to pursue anything of it. It's done, It'd be a nightmare all over again. I don't even live in the same state anymore... @everyone: Thanks for your advice, I did apologize for being nasty to her during the conversation! She simply said Thank You, which reassured me she understood where I was coming from!
Hello again, Jerrod. I understand, and I respect your discision. I'm a protector (both by profession and by my general nature), and nothing gets my blood boiling more than when someone takes advantage of or hurts a child or an elderly adult. I'm really glad to see that you made amends with your mother. Good job!
I think she could have definately picked a better place to talk about all of it.. but other than that, I think you did the right thing.
