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I believe I am bisexual, but I'm not sure if I should come out yet.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by PrincessKait17, Feb 26, 2015.

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  1. PrincessKait17

    PrincessKait17
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2015
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Dallas
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Since I was 13, I kind of liked girls. But I also had crushes on boys. So I never really made a connection. I am 18 now, and I've started looking at girls in a romantic way too. I've only had boyfriends until this point, and I still have feeling towards men. I've never been with a girl, had a girl friend, or even kissed a girl. However, I still feel attracted to women.

    I have come to terms that I am bisexual, but worried to come out. Not sure what my friends will think of me. 99% of my family and friends will support me I think, but I feel they will still look at me differently and treat me differently.

    Any advice? :frowning2: should I wait a while?
     
    #1 PrincessKait17, Feb 26, 2015
  2. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    Of course, only you know when it's the right time. But if you feel like your family will be supportive, why not come out to them first. If they look at you differently it will because for the first time they will be looking at YOU, and not at an image that you have projected, at great cost in psychic energy. And then you open the door to having a deeper relationship with family than you could have ever known. Pretending to be someone who we are not eventually takes its toll in terms of stress and emotional distance from those with whom we should be closest.
     
    #2 Wildside, Feb 26, 2015
  3. PrincessKait17

    PrincessKait17
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2015
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
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    Location:
    Dallas
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Thank you for the advice! :slight_smile: it's just hard to say it. Maybe it's my own self denial too. Like they always try to hint that if I ever told them I was gay they would support me and not make a big deal of it. So deep down I think they know, but they will try to be overally supportive and treat me differently if I told them I was bisexual. Does that make sense? I just dont want anything to change. And if my friends know, I'm worried they will tell this guy I am dating off and on and we've been so close for years now. I'm worried he won't want anything to do with me dating wise after he knows. He will have to know eventually, but just sucks know what could happen :frowning2:
     
    #3 PrincessKait17, Feb 26, 2015
  4. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    do you think it would be harder for you to come out to your boyfriend now, or after the two of you have got deeper into the relationship? If he takes it well and is supportive, I guess it wouldn't matter (though you may have needlessly suffered all that time of not telling him). But if he doesn't take it well, if he wants to break it off, do you think that he will take it better or worse if you wait until the relationship gets a lot deeper? your answers to those questions, whatever they may be, might help you to figure out if it is better to come out now or to wait. good luck.
     
    #4 Wildside, Feb 27, 2015
  5. Hopeful

    Hopeful
    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    New Hampshire
    I am just now finally telling people I'm bisexual, and I'm 22. I'm a pretty private person, and I decided not to bother saying anything until there was a real reason for it. Well, I finally came out to a girl I liked (who I found out was bi) and now we're seeing each other. I'm finally starting to tell my friends and family, and it's great!

    Basically: ask yourself, will your life be improved by telling everyone? And if not, why? If you do think you'll want to date a girl at some point, maybe telling people now will be helpful, but if you're like me, you'll just wait until it's relevant.

    Whatever you end up doing, good luck! I'm happy to be telling people now - I told my sisters (separately) that I'm seeing someone, the first asked who "he" was and seemed a little surprised by my answer that it's a "she" and the other sister got wicked excited by my news and said she knew she was right. It's a lot fun telling people, so have fun with it and try not to stress!!
     
    #5 Hopeful, Feb 28, 2015
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