Parents keeping me closeted, how can I come out without them knowing?

since they brought up counseling, tell them that you want to take them up on it. if you get an ethical counselor (not one who practices voodoo, conversion therapy, or other black magic), then it could be a great help in dealing with what you're going through. And it could even lead to them talking some sense into your freaked out parents. Just let them know that if you're going to deal with it the way that they want you to, you need the counseling that they offered (well, threatened, but we won't argue over details). And if they don't want to get you the counseling, well maybe they were just joking about all those other threats to. Weird sense of humor, though.

 

OMG that's not therapy. you poor thing! that is so absurd. you may have no choice but to stay in the closet until you can get out of the house and on your own. at least YOU know that you are gay, which is what is most important. and along the way, you may find some very close friends with whom you can risk coming out, but ones who aren't going to publicize it to the whole school. Do you have any friends outside of school? Oh, and is there a counselor at school with whom you could talk in confidence? It would be helpful to at least talk about it with someone who isn't going to send you off to a gulag for being gay.

 

(*hug*)I'm so sorry they reacted like that. I would take Wildside's advice. I'll keep you in my prayers. Best of Wishes ~Aidan

 

You do not need your parents permission to come out to people. They are most likely shaken up by the news and think that they will be shunned by family and friends.

Something you might consider doing is seeing a (straight, LGBT-friendly) counselor, I say this because they probably do not want to go into the "enemy camp" for advice. Bottom line, this is your life and your parents cannot control when and who you come out to.
As for actually coming out without parents knowing, the best way is to make the person your coming out to swear to secrecy (as least towards your family).

 

If your parents bring you to the "scary lady" (no one could call her a therapist) lie to her and tell the scary lady it was a phase. If she is a registered therapist report her to governing body.
Other than that Wildside's advice is spot on.

Stay strong and true to who you are.(*hug*)

 

Bella, you're 14 years old. Like it or not, as long as you live with your parents and cannot support yourself, your parents DO have power over you. Based on what you said, your parents got some serious issues due to their communism-based upbringing (the country I live in had been part of the SU too, and it's effects are very strongly felt even 25+ years after it was over), and their choices can be potentially dangerous for you (like that 'counselor', or KGB-agent or whatever). I'm not saying they will hurt you, but it's very hard to go against the 'rules' that have been drummed into their heads back home.

Just think of the numerous violent anti-gay incidents in Russia, for example PinkNews had a recent compilation about them, titled "The 25 most shocking anti-gay stories from Russia so far".

You're still very young, you have time to tell others. Let your parents digest the fact that you're not straight, maybe in time they will be more comfortable with it. Stay safe!

 

I agree with that. Or even better, just mess with everyone and say that you don't know what they're talking about, you never said you're gay; you said you were okay. or that your parents just don't know how to take a joke. or that you were talking about a tv show, and they got confused. anything that messes with their heads as much as they are messing with yours. just curious, does this "therapist" use leeches too?