1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How do you cope with knowing that you're the only one in your family that's gay/bi?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SubZero, Feb 28, 2015.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. SubZero

    SubZero
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2015
    Messages:
    249
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I'm coming to the realization that I'm not entirely straight. I'm probably gay, or at least bisexual. The only person who knows of this is my older brother, who I'm so thankful for having. He seems okay with it. The problem is that I feel completely alone in this situation because NO ONE in my family is gay/bi and I come from a HUGE family. My grandparents have 10 kids and each of those 10 have 2-4 kids of their own. In total, I have 27 cousins.

    Almost everyone in my extended family is in their late 20s or 30s and are married with the opposite gender and have kids of their own. And yet here I am, one of the youngest of the 27 (21 y/o) and am probably the only one in my family who likes the same gender. I hate being the only one who's different, especially if I'm the only one out of 50+ people in my own family!

    Sometimes it truly feels like I'm the only one. I also don't make it known that I like the same gender. No one in my family suspects me of being gay or bi because I don't "act gay". But deep down, I know I like guys. I just hate the feeling of being in the minority even when it comes to my own family.

    Anybody else the only one who's gay or bi in your family?
     
    #1 SubZero, Feb 28, 2015
  2. danielo21

    danielo21
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2014
    Messages:
    90
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Re: How do you cope with knowing that you're the only one in your family that's gay/b

    The fact that they are married doesnt' mean that they are necessarily straight. just look around at this forum. There are tons of people who marry the opposite sex because they are in denial, or other multiple reasons. I know a guy how just got divorced because he was gay. He is in his 30's.
    I suggest you to not assume things just by looking at the surface.

    And even if youre the only one. Why does it matter? Maybe being gay is more common in some families than in others, just like being redhead or left-handed.
     
    #2 danielo21, Feb 28, 2015
  3. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    Re: How do you cope with knowing that you're the only one in your family that's gay/b

    you don't know that you're the only one in your family who is gay. there may be other people in your family who are thinking the same thing. and that includes married people. statistically, it's really unlikely that everyone in your family is a 1 on the Kinsey scale. If some day you do come out to your family, you may give the courage someone else in the family needs to come out. we all wear some sort of masks to conform what the world expects of us. the one where we pretend to be straight is one of the heaviest ones of all to carry.
     
    #3 Wildside, Feb 28, 2015
  4. SubZero

    SubZero
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2015
    Messages:
    249
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Re: How do you cope with knowing that you're the only one in your family that's gay/b

    I guess you're right. Nobody in my family knows of my true feelings, so it'd be wrong for me to say that I know for sure what they're feeling.

    It's possible. I sure hope that there's at least one other person in my family just like me... but who knows? I never really thought about the kinsey scale on this one, but you're right. Statistically speaking, it's very unlikely that EVERYONE in my family is as straight as an arrow. Only time will tell...

    Now that I think of it, I do have a cousin who's a few years younger than me (the youngest actually) who acts pretty effeminate, but I don't want to come to the conclusion that he's gay. It'd be awesome, though, if when I come out to the rest of my family, that I inspire him to do the same thing (assuming that he's gay, that is).
     
    #4 SubZero, Feb 28, 2015
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)