For me to even write this or ask for help is a huge step for me. I am 25 year old lesbian stuck in the bible belt. For me to finally admit this to myself has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. My family is conservative baptist christian. I was braught up in to believe homosexuality was wrong. Even in my household dating someone of a different ethnicity was a sin. I have been bottling these feeling for females so deep in me that i have become depressed. I am showing people what they want to see. Ive dating a coupld guys just to make sure what i was feeling was real. It never felt right being with them as much as a tried to be "normal". So i have kept to myself. People ask why I dont have a boyfriend and i just say i dont have time for one but in reality i want to scream because I AM A LESBIAN. Having a family constantly say how sinful and unnatural homosexualty is made me bury my true self. I know if i would to ever come out to them that my relationship would be over. I do not know if i could handle that. I do love my family and to not to be able to express this part of me to them hurts. I have tried to find some friends i think i could come out to but i tried to bring up the subject of LGBT and they all have said the same thing. They says its a choice and they dont believe in it and the last little bit of hope i had was sqaushed. There is one person i think i could tell and that would be my uncle. He moved away when he was 18 and has never looked back since. I think he is gay also but has the same fears as i do about my family. Everytime he comes to visit i just want to breakdown and tell him but i get so scared nothing ever comes out. He is the only person in my family that agrees on the same things such as politics, life choice and so forth. Its been such as struggle to even admit to myself that i like girls but i have finally come to terms with my sexuality. If only i can just finally at least tell my uncle. I am not sure if i could ever tell my family the truth. Assuming that my uncle feels the same way as i do. I think if when i feel comfortuble enough to tell him maybe he will be comfortable to tell me. Any Advice anyone could give me would be highly appreciated.
Isn't it wonderful that a religion which preaches love that love is a sin? I really feel for you and your situation. Have you looked into seeing if there's an lgbt support group, pflag chapter or the possibility of seeing a therapist? Having someone to confide your situation with can be a big help. I wish I had some real answers to give you, but other than doing what your uncle did (moving away) I'm not sure what to tell you. Just know you are not alone & coming to terms with being lgbt can be a very difficult thing. This forum is here to help.
I believe some religious people just like my family get stuck is old religion ways. They can not see that love is love no matter what gender, skin color etc. There is more ways to love and no way is wrong. I have looked around for some LGBT support groups around my area and have not found any. But i am going to try to find one even if i have to go a little out of my ways. Therapist does sounds good i definitely will look into that. Thank you! ---------- Post added 2nd Mar 2015 at 10:34 PM ---------- Hey Jake! Thank you!:icon_bigg
