Hi So I came out to some of my family over the last 2 days which went fine, really excepting (which I exspected) .. And I'd hoped for a sense of relief or easy of pressure but I don't :bang: Did anyone else feel like this? I just want to crawl back in the closet and hope it will all go away pretend like I was straight again. I don't know if I was ready to come out and now I have what do I do next?? I have these mass of emotions brief happiness followed by dread, regret and uncertainty. What are you supposed to do Any advice or comments appreciated
When you have been carrying something around inside for so long it can actually be quite hard to let go. Although many people experience a great feeling of relief when they come out, some are left with a feeling of "now what?", or "where do I go from here?". The secret is out but uncertainty and anxiety can remain for a while. The key emotion in that quote is happiness. It may only be there briefly right now, but at least it is there. It's something that you are in touch with and I'm sure it will increase over time now that you are able to live more freely and openly. Maybe you are not ready to embrace your sexuality just yet, but that's okay. Give yourself time to take stock and don't expect too much, too soon, but don't dwell on the idea of crawling back into the closet either. You've come this far Dan, so don't get too fixated on your current mindset. I'm confident it will change, in time and we are all here to support you.
Thanks it make sence I've now told the rest of my family and it does feel better everyone who is important in my life now knows the real me
You were expecting some kind of drama or dramatic change, but you were actually lucky and did not get it. Now, it is up to YOU to make the dramatic change of living as a gay man, free to go out and create the certainty that will come from finding a person who you really enjoy being with and perhaps spending the rest of your life with. Also knowing that you will not have to apologize to your family for being yourself and presenting them with someone you love, for them to accept as your soul mate. The doubt and questioning is over; congratulations.
I would say enjoy your new-found freedom. No more having to censor yourself and pretending to be straight when you're not. Now is the time to live your life in a way that is true to who you really are. Congratulations!
Thanks guys. Not really sure how you meet gay people living in a small village. I've never been to a gay bar and it don't really appeal too me. Have thought about dating apps ??
It might be better to look at social groups for gay men first. Do you like sports or outdoor pursuits? If so, there are dedicated groups that you can join. Are you prepared to travel a little?
Yeah, this happened to me, I came out to my family expecting a huge change to happen and to be honest nothing really happened. The only thing to come out of it is that I talk to my sister about guys I find attractive and stuff lol... It didn't help me or make me want to come out more but still, it is better to be out to family because atleast you can talk to them about situations/your feelings more.
Same thing it's nice to finally talk about it to the people I'm closest to. I do enjoy outdoors and just done a search for some groups only really seen one that jumps out. Not sure if it's allowed with in the rules but can anyone recommend any good outdoor groups for gay'so?? Travelings not an issues other than I work 5-6 days a week and attend uni 2 evenings a week so doesn't leave a lot of time to travel far. Thanks for the great suggestion just what I need today
