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Coming out to a friend, but it's a little more complicated than that

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Erzulie, Mar 5, 2015.

  1. Erzulie

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    I have a friend who i am considering coming out to. I've posted about coming out to her before. She is straight, but thought she was gay for a while before she met her current boyfriend, and she told me how she came out to a bunch of people (I don't know how she did that). She asked me if I was gay, well it sort of came up while she was face-timing her boyfriend while i was at her place, so I denied it. A little too much pressure for me.

    Anyway, she is going through depression, and went on medication, was doing better, but then stopped early so she's going through it again (not as bad, but still...). I don't know when the right time to come out to her is. I had been depressed, (I have come out of it for the most part after I started to be ok with myself being gay) but it has not been as severe as hers. Hers is more of an imbalance in her brain chemistry. I haven't told her that i was depressed because I have been scared to tell her the root of it, but I want to tell her that I can relate to what she's going through. I don't know how to bring it up or when the right time is to do it. I'm not even sure I should right now, part of me feels like I should wait until she starts to do a little better. I don't want to tell her that I used to cut, because I don't want to plant that idea in her head because she does not as far as I know. I don't want to dump my problems on her, but on the other hand it might be good for her to think about other people's problems right now to distract her a little bit. I just have no idea what to do. Please any advice would be a great help!!
     
  2. JooBooGoo

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    There is no real right time and place to come out to this friend of yours. Although it might not be best to come out to your friend since she is currently suffering from severe depresstion. Right now she needs your help now more than ever to get better, and coming out to her might might make things harder for her. But only you can judge the where, when, how of coming out to her.
     
  3. Erzulie

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    She asked me if I have ever been depressed before, and I told her yes. She asked how I got out of it, and I told her that every situation and every person's experience is different, and that I didn't want to "talk about me right now".
     
  4. JooBooGoo

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    Ok is your friend currently taking medication or seeing a therapist?
     
  5. Erzulie

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    She is not taking medication right now. She is seeing a therapist, but I think they will put her back on the medication. I was trying to be honest with her without being honest with her. I just wanted her to know that I understand what she's going through.
     
  6. JooBooGoo

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    Well then like I said before, it's best to wait until she gets better to come out.
    And I'm glad that you are trying your best to help her :icon_bigg.