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I'm terrified of going to hell

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Integrity guy, Mar 7, 2015.

  1. Integrity guy

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    Ever since childhood I have had gay feelings, and as of late they have grown to be overwhelming. So far I have not acted out on them, I simply kept it all to myself. My mother always asks me why I have not yet had a girlfriend and I just nervously try to change the subject.

    I am afraid because the pastor at my church says that it is not possible to be gay and christian and unrepentant homosexuals will go to Hell.

    I have nightmares about this, I'm so terrified of doing something that God views as detestable and will punish me for. I was on a gay dating site the other day to try to talk to some guys but while I was talking to them I panicked and closed my browser window.

    I don't know what to do with my feelings.
     
  2. Anthemic

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    God is a loving God. He's not going to make you that way so you can suffer. Humans were created to crave companionship. We sin everyday. You shouldn't be expected to live a lie.
     
  3. Chiroptera

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    Hey Integrity guy,

    Welcome to EC.

    There is nothing wrong in being gay. Being LGBT is about love. It doesn't matter if you love someone of your same gender.

    You aren't hurting anyone or doing anything wrong in loving someone. Love is a good thing.

    Take a look here: Empty Closets - Religion and Homosexuality

    Hugs (*hug*)

    Feel free to ask for more advice if you need it! We are here to help :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Chiroptera, Mar 7, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2015
  4. PatrickUK

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    I am gay (in an 11 year relationship with another guy) and I am also a Christian. I know at least two gay priests and I am very confident that neither I, nor they will go to hell.

    The pastor at your church is merely expressing his own opinion (based upon what he thinks the Bible has to say). I can tell you that plenty of people will disagree with him.

    Would you like to explain why you think God will punish you?
     
  5. Lawrence

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    It goes without saying I think it's beyond overkill to make somebody suffer forever just because they're gay. My fear of Hell has caused me to read about various depictions of the afterlife and even cosmology. It has reduced my terror a lot but some doubt still remains. It's difficult to shake off my belief in Hell, no matter how illogical it feels. All I can really say is good luck. People say the best way to overcome a phobia is to face it and that's kind of difficult in this situation.
     
  6. Juli

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    I would suggest reading the book of Leviticus... It says a whole bunch of wild things... It's the book of the Bible most often quoted in reference to the "sins" of homosexuality. It says things like wearing clothes of mixed cloths is sinful, or that not crying out while being raped should be a death sentence, or that if you rape an unengaged virgin, as long as you pay her father 50 sheckles (pieces of silver), she's your bride. Seriously, read it and draw your own conclusions.
     
  7. JooBooGoo

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    Hi Integrity guy! (note: most of this post is going to be a rant)
    First of all don't listen to what the pastor at your church says about homosexuals.
    It's people like this that really f**king piss me off because there is nothing wrong with being gay. While I'm not very religious myself (although at the same time I don't consider myself atheist), I do know that the teachings of Jesus Christ say to treat others the way you want to be treated, and this is how Christians show it?!?
    Ok I'm done ranting, but you definitely need to change to a different (LGBT+ friendly) church if you can, and don't listen to the pastor at your current one because they are wrong. There is nothing wrong with being gay, it's just a part of who you are.
    I'm so sorry that you are going through this and I literally started crying when I read your post.
    I really hope things get better for you. =')

    Edit: I am well aware that not all Christians are homophobic, I'm just going on about the ones that are.
     
    #7 JooBooGoo, Mar 7, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2015
  8. LakanLunti

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    Hey, The God I know and believe in is a loving God. If He forgave the murderers, then why would He hate us. Us, where all we do is be ourselves. We didnt chose to be like this. He made us this for the BEST reason He only knows. Try watching this. It helped me, and I hope it will help you. (*hug*) If you need someone to talk to, you can just post something on my wall, ok? I hope you feel better.
     
  9. Integrity guy

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    This is well and good, but with people like Matthew Vines or LGBT-friendly pastors or churches, what I keep wondering is whether or not such people are clearing out bigoted misconceptions, or really comforting homosexuals with what they want to hear while distorting the original meaning of the scriptures. It seems there are many theologians with great credentials that really think the traditional interpretation of these passages really is true.

    I know that if giving in to these desires means going against God's will it's something I'm simply not able to do because I love God with all my heart.

    I don't know about leaving my baptist church, because I have been there ever since I was a kid and have known the pastor for a very long time. I would be very very sad to go.

    Sorry, this is a very confusing and maddening time for me. It's such a struggle of my wordly desires with my faith.
     
  10. PatrickUK

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    It's also worth pointing out that many of the theologians who are accused of distorting the original meaning have great credentials and can back up every one of their claims with strong counter arguments.
     
  11. Andrew99

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    That pastor doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. Being gay isn't a sin not acting on it is either. I think as long as your a good persons and dont do harm to others it doesn't matter who you love. Whoever is brainwashing you with there religious beliefs DON'T LISTEN TO THEM! God is gay too he makes people gay. Being gay isn't a sin or a choice. If it were a choice than anyone could be gay. Being straight also isn't a choice neither is bisexuality. Don't feel bad you're gay! You didn't choose it and you can't change it! (*hug*)
     
  12. Integrity guy

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    It's true that I get frustrated when I see most Christians say that homosexuals should just ignore their inner desires. I didn't choose to have these same sex attractions, I would've much preferred to live an easier life with a wife and kids like my parents want me to. I hear my mother tell me she can't wait until she has grand kids and I start feeling very disappointed and awkward, like a failure.

    I would like to see them trying to live a life without companionship and be perfectly content of that.
     
  13. Van

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    Oh, honey, are there actually people who still believe that after we die we go to heaven or hell? :rolle:

    And why do people worry about afterlife? You've got this one to live first! And of course you can be gay and christian (not that I believe in religions), cuz if there's god, SHE loves you and SHE wants you to live a life full of love. Just live your life the way you want. As long as you don't harm others, god (if there's one) is fine with you. :thumbsup:
     
  14. guitar

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    You are not going to hell. Do you really think a loving God who created you would condemn you (all of us) to an eternity of suffering for the act of loving?
     
  15. Kaiser

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    An Atheist dies and winds up in Heaven. He is confused, but before he can dwell on it for too long, Saint Peter approaches him.
    Introducing himself, he tells the Atheist they will be taking the mandatory tour of Heaven.

    During the tour, the Atheist notices a complex of sorts off in the distance, and asks Saint Peter what it is. Peter tells the man to be silent.
    But further down the road, another complex is seen, and once again the Atheist asks Saint Peter what it is.
    Once again, Peter tells the man to be silent.

    This continues a few more times, and each time it is answered in the same way. The man decides to give up and resumes listening to the tour.

    Finally, the tour ends. Saint Peter asks the man if he has any questions.
    Almost immediately, the Atheist brings up all the complexes they had seen, wanting to know what they were.

    Peter answers:

    "I asked you to be silent near the first complex, because it was full of Buddhists.
    I asked you to be silent near the second complex, because it was full of Catholics.
    I asked you to be silent near the third complex, because it was full of Hindus.
    I asked you to be silent near the fourth complex, because it was full of Muslims.
    I asked you to be silent near the fifth complex, because it was full of...
    "

    The Atheist, having heard enough, is still confused as to why he had to be silent.
    He asks Saint Peter why this mattered, to which Peter answers:

    "It's quite simple, really.
    I didn't want them to see or hear you, because all of them believe they're the only ones up here.
    "





    There's a few things that can be said of that joke. The first is, a loving God would want all of his creations to join him in the afterlife, but it is man that sets up barriers and divisions. The second is, good or bad, we're all going to wind up in the same place, so it doesn't matter what we do. And these are just two meanings behind this joke.

    Some people have faith of what will happen, when they die, after having lived their lives. Some have a good idea, and others, well, they try not to think about it. Personally, I have issue with the all-loving and all-merciful God, and for the same reasons people have issue with various "sins" in the Bible -- they pick and choose verses, and they can back up anything you want. Just like one can find a verse that claims God is one way, you can find another to demonstrate he is another. This works for practically every "sin", every commandment, and every thing really.

    What really matters here is you. Your relationship with your faith. If you believe you can work on being how you are, and still have God in your life, so be it. But if it makes you uncomfortable, perhaps this is a sign that this isn't the path for you. Your upbringing can make it hard to let some things go, because it's all you've ever known. But a relationship with a deity should not cause you trouble, at least not like this, especially if how you perceive said deity is one of kindness and compassion.

    The Bible has been translated and adapted, many times, and gradually the context of verses is decayed. "Can't" and "Won't" are both negatives, but they mean entirely different things. They can fit in almost any sentence in place of one another, but they distort the intent and the meaning of any sentence they swap places with. This is just one simple example, mind you.

    It ultimately comes down to this:

    You bank on God not caring if you're gay, and live your life for him. Hoping this is not some kind of "test of faith", your being gay, like some people have mental illnesses, physical handicaps, or live in abusive families or raised in poverty.

    You do your own research, come to your own decision, and either continue with your faith, or find somewhere else to obtain spiritual strength. You would be surprised at the similarities in other faiths, and some of the central figures.

    You take a chance and say, God and his Bible, is nothing more than a collection of old tales and folklore, modified and adapted for the times in which they were written, and that the truth is not in God, but in something shared between all of these similar tales. You live your life in search of that answer.

    Personally, I'd opt for the second option. Surely a supreme being would appreciate his creations showing a little intelligence. Besides, studying with doubt as motivation, can often times strengthen one's resolve, because it forces you to poke and grill at your beliefs, and realizing just why you embrace them.

    On a comparing note, neither Heaven nor Hell sound all that appealing. Hell seems to be about suffering for eternity, separated from God and those with him, and Heaven seems to be about glorifying God, 24/7, without any free will. You simply are a note in a song, to praise them. I don't know about you, but when I look at it like that, I'm not exactly sure which is the true punishment.

    Your move...
     
  16. Radioactive Bi

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    You don't need to worry as there is no such place as hell. It's just a fear tactic that Christian terrorists ( and yes I can call them that as they are using threats of eternal suffering to terrorise you) to get you submit to the cult that is Christianity so they can control you through guilt and fear. Remember there is ZERO evidence to support any of their claims and infact, most of their claims are contradicted and refuted by science and critical thinking.

    Enjoy your life and be free from this non-sensical superstition so you can be and express your self honestly. No one should have to live in fear of who they are. You are amazing just the way you are....

    Happy days :slight_smile:
     
    #16 Radioactive Bi, Mar 8, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2015
  17. RelaxedDude97

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    It's okay man, i'm christian too and i have had these thoughts too. But i know better now, god made us the way we are, remember being gay is not a choice so why should he ''punish'' us for something we didn't even chose? God is loving and caring, he loves everyone and he won't ever punish you for being yourself. Go explore life, be happy and fullfill your dreams x
     
  18. antibinary

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    If god will send you to hell for liking guys then god isn't worth worshipping. Just remember that homosexuality is not a big focus of the bible.
     
  19. Zane7

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    Integrity Guy,

    I am a Christian. I too believe in God, Heaven, Sin, and Hell. I also believe in Jesus Christ and forgiveness and salvation and grace. I will not tell you how I think you should live when it comes to your homosexual urges. That is for you to work out. But know that along the way, God will never leave you or forsake you. Honestly, yes, I believe that living a homosexual lifestyle is a sin in God's eyes. But it is also no greater than any other sin like lying or theft or using God's name carelessly. Your pastor is quick to point out your own sin, but he conveniently overlooks his own. Gay or straight, we all sin and we all need a Grace we can never earn and do not deserve from a perfectly holy God. But you do not need to fear Hell. Jesus came and went through Hell for us, taking our sins upon Himself and paying the penalty for those sins once and for all on the cross. All you have to do is admit to Him that you are a sinner and ask his forgiveness. Ask Him to be your Savior and to help you be the kind of person He made you to be. Then let Him guide that process. He loves you, and the last thing He wants is for you to go to Hell.
     
  20. YermanTom

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    There are a number of people that are absolutely convinced they are going to Heaven, those include: People that use the bible to promote homophobia, Creationists and people that fly plains into buildings "in the name of God"
    Personally being in a room with any one of these people for five minutes would be total hell.
    Change your church quick

    (*hug*)