Asking people out

Yeah, I'm in the same boat. I'd appreciate any advice too.

 

I asked out a boy who I have had a crush on ever scince i new i was gay. (hes gay too) and it didnt go all that well. after about a week of "dating" we found ourselves having gone much farther than we should have. we decided to end it there. so I guess im saying i could use help for the next time around.

 

Yeah. This would be something nice to look into before I DO start trying to get into the dating scene. Any advice would be much appreciated.

 

I am shy too. I uasually do the whole "she told me to ask you" thing, but I've been trying to get up the courage to ask them myself. I have a crush on this one girl, and I'm trying so hrad not to get my friend to ask her for me. It'll be hard, but I think I can do it. It's one of those things you just have to get over with.

 

Well Since no one But in advice I will but in advice(that i will proably not follow my self)

Be Brave.Suck it up. and Just do it. ( I Know easier Said than done)

 

Shakes head. I haven't found the guts to do it yet either. My gaydar seems set to finding gay guys. Anyone want to trade?

 

Oh! Oh! Pick me! (Not that I have a female 'gaydar' to offer back...)

I was horrible at this as a young person / teenager. Partly because I wasn't really interested in asking girls out (I'm only now realizing why that is!) and partly because I think I was shy and self concious.

Now in my mid 30s, I don't have any problem asking someone if they would like to grab a coffee some time. Almost always the answer is 'sure'! Going for coffee is no big deal - so there's no pressure, no hang up, etc. These are guys that I know are gay though - so there isn't that issue. I've connected with them under that pretense to begin with.

So I think my advice would be to not build the 'event' up so much in your mind that the future of your dating life and happiness itself depends on the success of this date. Make the first one low key, non-threatening, casual and then see how it goes. Be yourself, and be genuinely interested in the other person - what they do, their friends, family, hobbies, etc. And be prepared to share about yourself too. Then if you've had a good time and learned more about the person, and still are interested, its pretty easy at that point to say 'hey - this was fun! Lets do it again!'

 

I've only had limited opportunities- I'd say just approach it in a clam manner. Ask the person to a movie or something.

 

How do clams go about asking other clams out for dates? Sorry - couldn't resist picking up on that typo! :lol:

 

well if you want a laugh and are so drunk it might work there's always:

"get your coat - you've pulled"
"so where you going tonight?? mine or yours"
etc etc

Although if you're being serious, just try getting to the point and being honest. Nothing worst than a person who is so insecure they need to beat around the bush.

 

AHHH DAMNED TYPOS!!!
Ya no, I hav firefox adn ti usully piks up no my typoes.

Okay, enough joking.

I must not gravitate away from my Grammar Nazism!
MODERATOR- EDIT MY POST!


lol...sorry...couldn't resist.

 

See, I've pretty much determined that I have a really really good gaydar. I can pick out a gay guy 99% of the time. The only problem is, even though I'm nearly positive someone is gay, I'm just way too scared to approach them, because what if turns out that it was one of those 1% times and I was actually wrong? Plus, I would never want to put someone through the horror of being outed before they were ready, as I can pretty easily pick out guys that are gay but they might still be in the closet. =/

 

Yes it would suck to be outed before you were ready