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In a rather silly predicament

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Étoile, Nov 10, 2008.

  1. Étoile

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    Not silly as in funny or small, but silly as in ridiculous.

    My father has been acting out again. If you read my last thread, we had a huge fight a few months ago and we talked and I thought things would get better. Now, he's bitching about me getting a haircut. Worse, he's threatening to not come with me and my mom to go to a college tour in a town that's 45 min. away from where I live if I don't get one. He knows I really want to go to this university and my mom won't go anywhere out of town without him.

    He keeps bringing up my hair every single day. One time before, he told me I don't have the type of hair to grow out. WTF? Just because I'm black I can't grow my hair out? That only non-black and biracial children can grow their hair out? That just kills my confidence. And it's not even a full afro; it's just higher than most black guys wear their hair. What should I do? Should I just give in and get the damn haircut or should I stand my ground and not get it? I could ask my sister to drive me to the college tour but I don't know if she'd feel like it.
     
  2. thugbuster245

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    Hello. I have to agree with you that your dad's haircut requirement being a condition of your possibility of going to college is a bit ridiculous. It's your hair, for pete's sake!! Normally I'd say keep your hair the way that you like it; however, college is too important to mess around with. If you can't get a ride from someone else and your dad seriously won't take you because you won't cut your hair, then be the bigger man and get your hair cut. After all, it's just hair and it will grow back. Good luck to you, pal! :thumbsup:
     
  3. Mind Freak

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    My parents want me to get a hair cut but I don't.
    They offered $50 but I don't want to cut it still.

    They stopped bothering me about it after like 3 or 4 weeks; but now I have to retwist it myself instead of going to the salon. Which sucks but I like my hair like this.

    My situation is a tad different; so maybe you should wait until the last minute to cut it.

    Don't argue with them about it; if they keep asking politely say no thanks.

    If he still won't take you maybe you should get it cut. It will grow back quickly since it's not a full fro. : )
     
  4. Markio

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    Could you put your hair in cornrows temporarily? Then after the tour you could undo them and your afro would stick out like twice as far. :icon_wink
     
  5. Sarah

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    i think u shud try to ask ur sis. if u explain mayb she'll be merciful. but as for the hair thingi think its dumb, but i read sumwhere tat a lot of problems wit parents nd teens r over hair which is funny. college is real important, nd ur dad shudnt jepords(not sure if tat how u spell it) ur future. cornrows is a good idea^
     
  6. Kryz

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    So if you don't go to the tour you might not get like... accepted in the college?

    Advice: Ask your sister before you make any desicion.
     
  7. Dark Secret

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    You have to consider which is more important to you right now: college or your hair.

    You will find it extremely difficult to get to college once you start working full-time; your hair, on the other hand, will grow back and who knows, in a couple of years' time, you may want to change the style.

    You will always have your hair, you won't always have an education.
     
  8. Lexington

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    His stance is quite silly, no question. But sometimes, parents have weird quirks.

    My mother hated if I ate anything - ANYTHING - if I had bare feet. Didn't matter if I was grabbing a cracker in the kitchen during the hottest day of the year. She insisted I at least have socks on while I ate the cracker. I never understood this, and I argued about it for awhile. But you know what? It's a lot easier to just let it slide. I'll slip on some socks, have my snack, then kick them off when I'm done. I still don't know why that bothered her, but it ended the conflict.

    Perhaps you're going to have to be the adult in this conflict. Say, "You know I really do want to grow my hair out. But if it really means that much to you, that you'd cancel the college tour, then I'll get it cut before we go."

    Lex
     
  9. xequar

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    Go without 'em.

    Seriously.

    My parents stepped foot on my college campus exactly one time-on the day I graduated. You're the one that's going to college, not them. As much as it may seem otherwise, it really doesn't matter that much what they think.

    Or, get a haircut. It's a stupid thing, but if it's the difference between them helping you through college or you doing it on your own (which is not something I got from your post), then just get the haircut.
     
  10. Louise

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    It does seem pretty silly on the part of your father but apparently it is important for him. You want your dad to take your mum and you to your uni, your dad wants you to cut your hair. Everything in this life is give and take. For whatever reasons your dad wants you to get a hair cut would it kill you to give in to him this once, give him what he wants, go and visit the university with your mum and dad and then let your hair grow out. You are only loosing a few weeks of growth. You can do this for your dad and it means that you get what you want. Don't forget hair grows.
     
  11. Étoile

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    The college tour isn't mandatory; I could easily skip it and still be accepted but I really want to get a preview of the school before I decide where I'm going when I graduate in 2010.

    I know it's just hair, but it's my hair. To make matters worse, I'm usually the one who pays to get my haircuts, so shouldn't I control when I get them and how my hair looks?

    Thankfully, we've come to a compromise. I'm going to get my hair cut, but there'll still be noticabe hair left. So maybe I will be able to go to the college tour with a hairstyle I like.

    Oh, and if I was to even suggest getting twists or cornrows, my dad would drop dead on the table. LOL