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guy at work

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by cm25, Nov 10, 2008.

  1. cm25

    cm25 Guest

    so I'm a waiter at a restaraunt and one of the dishwashers keeps asking me if I'm gay, and if I've changed my mind yet. Well I want to tell him "yes I am!!!" but i cant. And well I like him and all it's just, he's 18, I'm 15. Is that too big of a gap at this age like I need some advice. I think hes gay I'm pretty sure, I see him checkin me out at work. So any input would be awsome!thnx.
     
  2. krazykyle

    krazykyle Guest

    its not, go for it if he's cute, the guy i'm seeing is a 3 year gap me being the older :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  3. Miles D

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    yeah! tell him, unless you think your job might be in jeopardy if he knew.
    that isn't really a huge age gap-- my gf and I are in the same grade and a year and a half apart.... most peoples parents have a bigger age gap :slight_smile:
     
  4. Kryz

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    Well three years it's GENERALLY not a huge gap

    BUT when it's in the adolescence stage, I think three years it's a long way. If you really like him though, and want to have a big time, I say yes, go for it.
     
  5. Sarah

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    well i know ppl tat r together with WAY bigger age gaps. one 11 years. another 27 years(kinda gross in my opinion) but just 3 tini tiny years is to bad. is he nice nd funny nd sweet? does he remember things that you say? i think thats important. if hes cute well thats just a plus side!! lol. but if u really wanna, then go for it. but find out for SURE if hes gay tho
     
  6. Dark Secret

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    There are 11 years between my Partner and me; age is but a number.

    I'd get to know him a little better before "coming out" to him; it may be that he is also gay and is interested in you, but he may have other motives.

    If he turns out to be gay and interested, I'd say go for it, but you both must bear in mind your legal status.
     
  7. Gumtree

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    Just because you tell him you're gay doesn't mean you then have to go and form a relationship with him.

    He may well feel the same way about the age gap.

    For all you know he is just curious, or wants to be closer friends.

    Perhaps he just wants something physcial.

    I think tell him!

    Good luck.
     
  8. Trystan

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    definitely tell him :grin: I've learnt from not telling things that didn't need to be hidden, and it doesn't work. Brace yourself for any outcome, but at the end of the day, if you being gay is an issue for him, it's his issue not yours.
    I'm sure he'll be fine, so go for it! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    Good luck
     
  9. Mikeyy

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    I say tell him. Even if he's not interested in a relationship, he could become a close friend.

    If you do get in to a relationship, be careful. If your boss finds out, they may be obligated to alert the authorities - I'm not sure about the law in USA, would a sexual relationship between a 15 and 18 year old be illegal?
     
  10. Lexington

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    I have less a problem with the age gap as with the fact that he works with you. Relationships within the workplace are almost always a really bad idea.

    ...changed your mind yet about what?

    Lex
     
  11. mikeyjames17

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    I think it would be a good idea to tell him. If you genuinely like him and don't think it will effect you at work (in a bad way) then go for it =]. If things did go bad then we're always here to come back to and ask for more advice :slight_smile:
     
  12. xequar

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    Definitely tell him.

    The only concern I'd have about the age gap is the Age of Consent business. If one of you is 18 and the other is a minor, that could get really nasty from a legal perspective.

    A relationship with a co-worker might be a bad idea, too, but I'm not going to make that call. At the very least, though, you might make a friend out of the deal, even if it only remains as a friendship or a "close" friendship.
     
  13. Mickey

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    At 18,he's considered an adult. At 15,you're a minor. Anything more than friends
    could pose a problem. You could get to know him and talk to him,but I'd be
    careful,if it did go beyond that.Ultimately,it's your decision(if it turns out to be more than friends) just be aware of the implications. Good luck.
     
  14. Sarah

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    mayb the reason he's asking is bcuz he knows someone else tat is interested in you nd hes just checking u out to c if ur good enough for his friend or something. he might want to set u up with someone tats ur age. nd for dating a co-worker if he is interested in you. WELL JUST LOOK AT HOLLYWOOD!! lol. jk. just talk to him and ask him y he's so curious
     
  15. Mind Freak

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    Nah; age is nothing but a number!
    I would date an 18 yr old.

    As long as they weren't expecting to "get in my pants".

    And as long as they're not creepy or smelly. : )
    Is he creepy or smelly?
     
  16. Lexington

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    >>>Nah; age is nothing but a number!

    The penalties for approaching somebody on the other side of the age of consent laws beg to differ.

    Lex
     
  17. rocking23

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    That's called discrimination, and in this day in age that can result in a huge lawsuit!
     
  18. cm25

    cm25 Guest

    ya he's super cute, nice, funny, smart, clean, and ya. When he asks if I changed my mind yet he means am I gay yet, like do I want to tell him yet. That's another one of my concerns is the consent cuz I know my mom wouldn't approve, my sis tried the same gap at my age...
     
  19. thespanishheart

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    There's nothing really wrong with coming out to him I don't think. Just don't let it get in the way of work, no matter what. Also, don't do anything you shouldn't... He's 18 and you're 15... Any funny business, and he could be in serious trouble. Remember, you're still a minor.

    Also, does mom know you're gay? Does anyone know?

    Lastly, don't worry about things not working in your sister's love life. Some people have more than 3 years between ages and are very content. I don't think age is one of those things that fails every time.

    Hope this helps (*hug*)
     
  20. HighintheClouds

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    The only thing that worries me is that he keeps on asking you about whether you're gay, as if he really wants you. And it seems to me as if he just wants to get you for your looks and perhaps want to sleep with you...