New to Site. Kind of mini problem.

Hey guys. I'm Mikey. Pleased to meet you all =]
I don't have any immediate problems...but i mean i'm always thinking about this so I though I'd open to you all with my history of relationships and blah.
Basically, I like two guys. One is my Ex and one is my best friend who lives two hours away (i'll explain).
Ok so about 3 months ago, I got with my first ever boyfriend. Blake. i was getting to know him whilst I liked another guy, and the other guy was confusing me and wasn't making his feelings clear for me, so Blake was there to make me smile and cheer me up. We got on really well and got to know each other through text. Anyway, the day we met officially (i'd seen him around a few times), he came into my work place to see me (which i thought was really sweet), but because i was working couldn't stop. But i saw him and :O!!! I was taken away by how pretty i found him =]. He had made it obvious he liked me in text and when i saw him he just smiled at me and my world stopped! Awh he was amazing. So he left and i sent him a text saying 'Unfair! That was too brief =P, meet me after work?'. SO we met up and went for a stroll...ended up kissing in the park and i was smitten with him from there. The next day i asked him out and we were together for 3 weeks =/. He finished with me because he didn't feel attracted to me anymore...after 4 days we did do....sexual things...but not the whole thing . I told him that i didn't feel ready to do anything...but he made me feel so comfortable, we were doing things until the sun came up. It was so sweet. Anyways, in the last week of our relationship, i knew it wasn't going to last because his attitude had changed towards me. After we broke up he started telling people i was stalking him and was dying to get back with him. Which were both untrue. I was so upset. We were both each others first boyfriends and he'd just wrecked the image of our relationship...anyways 2 months go by, i've made good friends with his friends whilst i was with him and we continue to hang out. He feels pushed away, but i try to assure him he's not being pushed away. After 2 months of him being a baby we agree to be civil with each other. Now at this recent party, we were getting on really well, he was being very friendly, gave me a hug good by and when i was outside upset he asked how i was. I said i was fine but had previusly been crying because i missed him =[. his best mate reckons he may still have feelings for me...but i think he was only nice to me that night because we were both a little drunk. I refuse to ask him because it would ruin the chances of us being friends. But i do really miss him.
The day after that party i went to London to meet up with a friend i had made by talking to him online for 9 months. Amazing friend he's become, and he's also gay. I meet up with him and at first i just have friend feelings towards him, but when we get talking i really feel something for him. He's a close mate who i can't have, but at one point or another we've both said we liked each other...but he's from brighton and i am 2 hours away and he's in love with a guy he's never met. There are other guys around my area who are very good looking and i just don't feel like i would match up to what they deserve =/
I must seem like such a sad sack for this is how i introduce myself. But I sometimes wish i didn't feel so strongly =/