Hi guys, I'm 21 and I'm pretty sure I'm gay. I'm not 100% positive, but I'm like 91.8% positive. I've been lying to everyone around me for so long of thinking men are hot (the thought of that actually repulses me) that not only do I feel guilty, but when the time comes to come out, I'm going to feel like a phony and untrustworthy to the people I love. I'm not quite sure how to make myself feel better about this. Or how to tell my friends after years and years that I in fact do not find men hot. I also think it's causing there to be a huge road block in my mission to explore my sexuality/come out. Any advice?
I know this doesn't work for everyone, but when I did it, I didn't plan, I just said it. Work up the resolve, approach the person/people, and do it. I don't know the specific conditions of your family, so I have no way of gauging how they'd react, but that's what I've got to give and I hope it works out for you! It feels so much better once you do it. Best luck!
Hi there. Almost everyone feels like this at some point but the truth is that hardly anyone just comes out of the closet as soon as they realise they are gay. You are still exploring and understanding yourself... How can any reasonable person expect you to come out to them when you're not even fully accepting of yourself yet?
I would suggest to try to stop lying to them, but don't necessarily come out. Don't just going around saying, "Oh, yeah, guys are really hot," just try to avoid the subject. But don't be too obvious about it, until you're ready to come out. Hope this helps and I hope you have a nice day!
Hey I felt some of that guilt too. I was afraid that people would be hurt that I hid something from them for years. I was afraid to contradict the idea people had of who I was. I was afraid to erase the future my parents might have envisioned for me. But, when I came out, no one was hurt that I'd hid being gay. No one thought I was a phony or untrustworthy. They were only concerned about what a strain it must have been for me to hide it. I don't know the people in your life, so I can't say for sure if they'd react the same way, but no matter how they react you have nothing to feel guilty about. It takes time to figure these things out, and there's nothing wrong with keeping it to yourself until you are sure, and until you feel comfortable talking about it. So try not to beat yourself up too much (*hug*)
