Well kids, I think I've reached my limit. My problem with being in the closet is, like most in the closet, is a complicated one. I'm not concerned about my friends or acquaintances knowing I'm into men as much as I am for my family to reject me. My family isn't the most functional or supporting family to begin with and I feel like this may be the thing that will set things over the edge and is why I've stayed closeted as long as I have (I'm 25 and live at home because financial issues, extra fun). And on top of that, the crushing guilt has prevented me from attempting to date and is impacting my mental health very negatively for the past couple years. On top of all of that, an out gay man who I kind of ended up kissing at a party is trying to talk to me and I am interested in him but if I was with him I wouldn't want for him to get caught up in all this turmoil with me coming out or dragging him back into the closeted life. I'm overwhelmed with stress and guilt. Should I see a therapist/counselor? Someone help.
I think that it is pretty normal to be more worried about family than friends. We make lots of friends in life, and if some reject us we can just say that they weren't really friends and then find new ones. but we only get one biological family, so we're more afraid of losing them. I guess a lot of people have formed gay families with other gay friends that give that mutual support that their families of origin should have but didn't. do you need to see a therapist? absolutely! that is not a weakness. that is a way to help you understand yourself, and develop your strengths, and figure out what you need to do. you won't need therapy for your whole life, but you are at one of those critical points where it could make all the difference. good luck! (*hug*)
Do you think that's my best bet? Maybe if I start going to therapy, I'll be able to mention it to them and knowing them; piss them off, but eventually be able to guilt them into asking me why I'm going. I just really hope the guy I kissed doesn't get the wrong idea, I'm trying to come out so I can be honest with him and I feel like he's the one who's helping me gather the courage to do this. I wish I could just have a person call everyone I know and out me so I didn't have to do it myself.
I wish it were that easy. I just feel guilty for everything then I second guessed myself so who knows what will happen :/
Update: things are getting stranger. I'm not entirely sure but I think the guy I kissed isn't exactly out of the closet. Confusion ensues.
Further update: false alarm, he is out some of his friends are just dicks I guess or they don't know. Dancing around things in the closet is getting annoying.
Oh, i feel your pain sweetie. And i would listen to Wildsides advice. After reading some of his other posts, he really has some good messages to give. Therapy will most definitely help, because i am a believer in the fact that those you love should hear it from you. Doesn't mean you can't have that little extra oomph from somebody to steer you in the right direction though. As a person, we typically are scared of the unknown, and because we can't get into peoples heads we stress about how they will take certain things. Especially our family. I know it will be a rough journey. I myself am still closeted. Just composed my own "coming out" letter tonight, which i posted on my own forum of "Double Closeted". We may be living very different lives, but we have a lot of the same feelings.And i invite you to read my letter. It might give you some inspiration to compose your own. Even if you don't agree with ANYTHING in it. You will at least know what not to say in yours. And sometimes that helps. You have a friend rooting for you here. <3
Yeah maybe the letter is my best way of going about it. I'd love to read yours by the way. Thanks for being supportive (*hug*)
