I decided that a very close friend deserved to know about me, so I chatted with her about explaining why and how I felt about myself. She's usually a very welcoming and open person but she said, and I quote, "you're to young to even think like that. I think you should just stick to being straight" was she right? Am I to young for this? Should I wait?
I know, I'm just worried that if I try and come out the same reaction will happen. What if they start to doubt me or label me as something else other than me. I'm just worried that everyone will be that way...
In that case, she (or if she's older- you) are also too young to be straight. Heterosexuality is a SEXUAL thing just like homo/bisexuality can be a romantic thing; so there's really no difference. Plus, you can argue that it makes more sense to say 'you're too young to be straight' because straight girls also risk pregnancy and have a much much bigger risk of STD's, including serious life-changing ones. Obviously heterosexuality requires more adult responsibility!
Their labels don't define you. Your thoughts and actions define you. You are not to young, I knew, just absolutely new I had the same capacity for physical and emotional attraction to males and females by age 12. Confirming my love for the physical stuff with guys has taken till now.
If you know how you feel then that's good enough. Your sexuality is your sexuality, if you think you know your sexuality then you probably do. You shouldn't have to ignore your feelings because of your age. I knew I was bisexual when I was 13 (I'm now 17) and still today I am bisexual. I think it's your friend that doesn't understand not the other way around.
There is no such thing as being too young. People mature at different rates and with that maturity comes beginning to become sexually attracted to people. And that's when most people notice something is different and the reason people come out at older ages is for many reasons. Such as, they are scared, they aren't ready, etc. But that is why she thinks you are too young, because most people come out later in life. But your friend has no right to tell you that you are "too young" and you should "stick to being straight."
Certainly, you are not "too young"! The choice to present yourself as straight isn't going to help your self-esteem, so she's going to have to deal with it. You might get the same reaction from other people (the older the more likely), but if even just a tiny, hidden part of you believes that you aren't straight, then there's no point in waiting to figure things out. I take it that you don't necessarily want to jump into the arms of the next girl you see, so just use the time you have to explore your mind and preferences (I don't mean physically, but if you want to, by all means). Just ignore her comment, and keep searching! Let the hand guide the brush, not the critics!
People are ready whenever they are, for me I didn't realise until I was 16/17 others may know by age 12. I just depends on what age your sexuality develops or settles.
If she thinks you're too young, she should have seen me several years ago. I realised I was bi at around 12-13 because I started really being attracted to males at around that time (and females to less of an extent) - and I finally discovered the word 'bisexual' around this time.
Ha, no. Nowadays there are people coming out at age 10 and even earlier. I came out shortly after turning 14, and now I'm 15 and still don't regret coming out. There's no point for me to wait until I'm older, when I know it will never change. I don't think there's any such thing as being 'too young' to come out, or to consider yourself something other than straight.
You're not too young. People are afraid of the unknown but that doesn't mean you should cover yourself. I'm a couple of years older than you and I discovered myself when I was your age but oppressed it but you can't oppress something that's in you. Your friend doesn't seem like a good friend to talk to this about-- not saying she's a bad person but maybe you should find someone to discuss it with. Good luck!
There's two aspects here - I can perhaps relate to a comment made about coming out, depending on the environment/family/local laws/etc... In some cases it's not always a good idea until one is somewhat independent. However the part that really bothers me is saying you shouldn't even "think that way". That is just plain wrong, and once you've discovered and accepted that part of yourself it's usually not healthy to try to get back to a denial phase, not internally at least.
Hi MurderMystery, it's great that you had the courage to say to your friend and you feel like you know your sexuality. In this stage of your life, I'm not saying supress what you are feeling that is the last thing that I am saying, there is no need to rush and tell people about your sexuality. Because it is alot to take on especially at your age where you at school, you have other things to think about and this is the last thing that you should mixed in with what you have going on. You are probably going through something that is normal in someone exploring their sexuality, some people will disregard it and other people will want to talk about it. If you don't feel like you are ready to talk to some people about it, that's okay. As long as it's not being detramental or making your life difficult, if it's coming to that (which I'm sure it's not), you would need to speak to someone, maybe a teacher, your school counsellor or an adult you feel you can trust and can work through whatever is going on. At this point, at this be fifteen. Because all of this can wait, if you are not ready to deal with it. If you feel you need advice from another, there must be some LGBT Youth Groups in your area. Again, enjoy being fifteen because believe me those years go so quickly, when you are worrying and thinking about other people's feelings. So, concentrate on you feel you need to do and if you feel you are not ready to deal with this, fine. It's perfectly normal to feel like that, it doesn't matter if you are fifteen or one hundred five people develop at different rates. But at the same time, don't supress who you are. Because whoever you end up with, when you leave school and on to college or wherever you decide to go. They will love you for who you are and your sexual preference will take a back seat. I hope this helps?
There is no age when "you should think like that" when you know you know. As regards "sticking to being straight" I tried that and boy did it mess up my life. I think your friend hasn't figured out things, she may be emotionally too young. By the way you are a super brave person. be true to yourself. (&&&)
