So I saw a psychologist for the first time yesterday for general sadness, I'm not going to call it depression because it's not physiological. Anyway, she said for the first meeting she'll just ask me a bunch of questions to get to know me better and maybe identify the issue (although I know it's my sexuality). She asked me if I have or have ever had a boyfriend. I said no and then she asked if that bothers me; it was the perfect opportunity to mention that I'm a lesbian but for some reason I just couldn't bring myself to say it. So, my question is for those of you who openly discuss your sexuality with a therapist. Did you guys tell them right away or did it take some time for you to feel comfortable with them? I'm not sure if I should try and build that trust or if I should try and find someone new. Usually I know from the get go if I trust someone or not but I know this issue is different seeing as I even had a lot of trouble telling my closest friends. I would really appreciate any advice!
I've never openly discussed my sexuality with a therapist, but it doesn't seem like there's anything wrong in your case with taking some time to feel comfortable with her before telling her you're a lesbian. Again, I don't have much experience with this, but I'd think it's quite rare for a patient to disclose everything personal and important to a therapist during the first session. It doesn't seem like you have anything to lose by going to a few more sessions with her to see if trust grows. If it doesn't, then you could try to find someone new. If it does, then no worries, and you can tell her when you're ready. But if I were you, I'd want to go to at least one more session with her, since just one is probably not enough time to become comfortable. I really hope that helps!
I used to speak to a counselor on a regular basis, but I definitely didn't come out to her during the first visit. I think it's definitely okay to take some time before disclosing that information if you're not comfortable quite yet. I think at some point you should tell her if that is what's bothering you, so she can help you the best she can, but I think you're alright now.
Thank you both so much, that really helps. I'll definitely see her one more time and see if I start to feel more comfortable with her. I just question whether I should continue with her or seek out a therapist who specializes in lgbt issues.
I opened up to mine pretty soon, but I understand why you would be scared. Asking if you had a boyfriend and if not having one bothered you kind of makes it even awkward and harder to say much. I was lucky that when mine asked about dating they used neutral pronouns, so it made it easier for me.
I'm in the exact same position as you are. I've been seeing a psychologist for general sadness and anxiety and I just can't make myself come out to her. give it time maybe? one thing's for sure, they are there to help us and not judge us. Best of luck to you.
So I just registered on this forum so I could reply to this. I'm a psychotherapist from Chicago who specializes in LGBTQ issues. I am also currently working on earning my doctorate in clinical psychology. But anyway, I would personally recommend seeking out a therapist who specializes in LGBT. She asked you if you had a boyfriend. She made a heteronormative assumption about a new client; not the most culturally competent. I'm gay and if my therapist made an assumption about me like that, I would be inclined to educate them to not put people in boxes. But that's me and I'm a therapist as well. Clients should not have to educate their therapists in that way. Anyway, those are my two cents. If you liked her, then try again as the relationship a client has with the therapist is by far the best predictor of a positive outcome. Best of luck
