I've been in the closet for probably a year now. I feel like it's time to tell my parents, but I'm afraid how they'll react. I know my dad will be fine, but I don't know about my mom. I feel like I'll be looked down upon by my family, and close family friends. I don't know what I should do, or how I should come out. It's causing me a lot of stress and anxiety, and I'm just generally nervous.
Tell, in first time, to you dad! Looks like he will accept you more easy than your mother and with this, you will have a great help from your father that would talk your mother for a long time about homosexuality trying convince her about this. And for right moment, coming out for her!!!
Tell them. Sometimes people always worry that when they come out the people they love may take it negatively. But sometimes they surprisingly take it well. Good luck (*hug*)
Coming out to my Mom was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but in the end it was completely worth it. People spend so much time picturing the worse possible situation, and building up fear, so letting that all go and actually giving them an opportunity to know who you really are is a bit of a relief. Coming out to your parents is an incredibly brave thing to do, and you should be really proud of yourself for starting this process.
It's important to understand that most parents/family members have certain expectations about their kids/relatives - expectations that we many never live up to. These expectations can be about anything, not just our sexuality or gender identity. Very few parents expect their kids to be LGBT etc. so any revelation that we in fact are is unlikely to be greeted with great joy, even by the most accepting of parents, and we shouldn't really expect it either. In the same way it takes us time to accept and come to terms with ourselves, it's going to take our parents time too. The good news is that most parents do come round to the idea after a period of adjustment and the same is true for most family members. Personally, I think parents should be told together, wherever possible, so you don't appear to be playing favourites, but if you are intent on telling your Dad first, don't leave it very much longer before telling your Mom. Where to tell them? Ideally at home. You need privacy, because you can't be certain how they will react. Announcing it in a restaurant or at a family gathering may backfire. When to tell them? Pick a date/time when you know they will not be under stress or pressure of time. Coming out is not something to be hurried over breakfast before everyone sets off for work/school or college. Nor should you come out in the midst of a big family event or crisis. Friday evenings are often good, as the week is over for many people and there are two clear days to pause and reflect. How to tell them? Before you come out, prepare. What sort of questions might they ask? What sort of comments might you expect? Think about these and consider your answers carefully. Think about questions and comments you might not like too and prepare careful responses for these. If you do this it will make a big difference. Come out with confidence, but don't sound cocky. You want to give the impression that you have considered everything carefully and that you are not upset, sad or uncomfortable with who you are. When the questions come, go back to your prepared answers and maintain a reasonable tone. Don't get distressed or angry or fling accusations as that will set a negative and hostile tone and make the whole process all the more painful. If it gets heated and they need time to think and process their feelings, allow them the time. Finally take a look at the resources tab at the top of this page and have the contact details for PFLAG to hand.
