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Confined in the Closet...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MurderMystery, Mar 20, 2015.

  1. MurderMystery

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    I had spoken with my sister about my sexuality and I assumed she wouldn't mind but she went completely psycho about it. It was a surprise for her, and I know it was but I needed someone I could get some advice from. It didn't end up to well... When will she come around and get over it? Will she ever actually be okay with it?
     
    #1 MurderMystery, Mar 20, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2015
  2. Azael

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    You should give her some time to process the news. Its a shock and that might affect her jugdment. Did she ever showed signs of not being ok with homosexuality? If not, then I'm pretty sure she'll come around and if she did... Well, I don't know your sister nor how close you are but be patient, strong and understanding. It'll be hard and it might take long but hang in there (*hug*)
     
  3. sedgeling

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    Everybody is different, so we can't really give you a time frame. However, she most likely will eventually come around. My brother was really homophobic (well, he still kind of is), but with time he learned to accept me. Now, we're just as close as we were before, and it doesn't have a bearing on our relationship. It took time for him to process the whole deal, and realize I was no different than I was before.
     
  4. Hizaki

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    Whatever happens, just know this: she simply doesn't understand! She can't be so inhuman that she never gets it, but there's a good chance that it could take a while. Just make sure that you show her whatever it means to express this part of you (indirectly... and I leave that open for interpretation). Good luck out there! Be proud of yourself for getting this far!
     
  5. MurderMystery

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    She is homophobic in some ways. She had mentioned things I don't believe she meant, and I feel bad that I didn't forgive her it understand that it was right away but... I don't feel right forgiving her this fast... I just feel like a bad person for thinking that.
     
  6. musicman1982

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    Hi MurderMystery,

    The best thing in this situation as Azael said, let it cool off. The last the last thing you want to do is to hurt your relationship with your sister. Each person, no matter if they are family will process differently, some will not care and some will have an issue. What I am going to say next is you can take or leave this advice it's up to you, the thing is your fifteen and you got your whole life to figure out, you not only have school stuff and I'm sure you have other things going on. But to have this on top of what you are doing it's going to be difficult, I commend you for wanting to come out at such a young age. I am not saying to go back in the closest, and as you say to be 'Confined in the closest.' Because the most important thing is for you to be yourself, regardless of your sexuality or not, I know you want it over and done with. But it's probably best, until that you are alittle older, settled and established. I know that seems like forever away, but when you are a little older, you'll have a circle of friends or maybe family members who will support regardless of any negative situations that may arise with anyone who you personally know and meet, because those are the people that will support you.

    If you feel you need more support about this, I'm sure there are LGBT Youth Groups or Gay, Straight Alliances in your area, because they will give you more indepth advice tailored to your situation, maybe you might meet new people in the process as well. Hope this helps?
     
  7. Wildside

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    well, first, even though you might not feel like celebrating right now, CONGRATULATIONS on coming out to her. That took courage, and it's really more about you than it is about her. You came out to someone in your family, and that is a huge thing. The fact that she is having a hard time dealing with that doesn't change anything. Will she come around to deal with it? there are no guarantees in life, but I agree with what everyone says about giving her time. It may be a little time, it may be a long time. Odds are good that she will eventually come around, and that she will then have a whole different attitude toward LGBT people because of your honesty. but whether she does or not, just keep loving her as your sister, and go on living your life as the authentic person who you are.
     
  8. woahthatsboring

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    In time, I'm sure she was just surprised like you said before. It might take her some time getting used to but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you or won't understand you a week from time. In the mean time, you can give her information about coming out or you can just let her know that you're still her sister. But congrats on coming out! :slight_smile: good luck on further things
     
  9. MurderMystery

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    She has outed me to my parents. As if she thought it was her decision to even do that. I'm being shut out now and I can't cope with the over whelming sense of loneliness... I feel like being dead would be better than this... How long does this last? :tears:
     
  10. whww123

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    Oh honey, don't feel alone! Albeit it seems bleak things are going to get better fast. However things might be a bit tough for a little and you need to be strong for yourself. I believe I can speak for the community when I say we all believe in you and know you're on your way to a better you :slight_smile:
     
  11. woahthatsboring

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    I'm very sorry to hear that but don't think that way:frowning2: ! Being dead is not better... Being gay or bisexual or straight is the less of everyone worries or it should be in my opinion. I wish I could give you a date and time or when it all the hurt will subside but I sadly can't. Soon, hopefully you'll feel better. Remember nothing is forver, things and situations are always changeable. :slight_smile:
     
  12. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    I agree with everyone that being dead is not better. the sun will come out for you one day. accepting and loving ourselves, and learning the real happiness of being gay is something that takes time, but it is absolutely worth it.
     
  13. Lally

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    i feel sad how your sister reacted about your sexuality,. this might be off topic but i am planning to tell my sister about my sexuality aswell and she will be the first person to know, reading your post makes me more nervous i dont know how will she react.
    I amdire your courage, it is easy for me to say this now since i am not in the situation yet. Just stay positive, and show her that you are still you or much better version of youself and eventually she will realize how awesome you are it will take time but im sure it will come. congrats on coming out! :slight_smile:
     
  14. Yossarian

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    Your sister is being a drama queen, acting as though YOU being gay is all about her, which is nonsense. When she gets tired of being the center of attention, she will move on and try to find something else to flame about.

    If you need help with your parents, PFLAG has information and literature available to help them find out how they can support your needs. Round up some of it for them and see if it helps them help you. Forget about feeling like you need to "do something" about yourself. These problems are all these other people's problems to solve. You are being honest to yourself and them and doing just fine, girl.
     
  15. user199

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    give her some time to process this..anyways you are not responsible for other people reactions..all you can do is to be honest and let things play out..
     
  16. Wildside

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    :goodluck: