I don't remember exactly when I began to feel these feelings towards guys, or where these feelings came from, but I do know they are real. I was a late bloomer; I have always looked younger than my age and hence girls always saw me as their little brother. It used to irritate me whenever they said I was cute. I wanted to be hot, not cute. I was attracted to girls since elementary school, since middle school, and then... I started watching porn? At first I remember jerking off at pictures of girls in swimwear, girls without tops, and videos of girls getting nude. Then I started watching videos of couples having sex, and I loved it. I wanted to be the guy in those videos. But at some point I began to look more at the guy than the girl in these videos. It was then when I first discovered these feelings towards guys. As of lately, while at college, I have realized that I am more attracted towards boys than girls. I would say that per every 2 girls I like, I like 8 guys. Most girls are just becoming average to me, and I no longer feel as attracted towards them. What has made it hard for me to accept these feelings and why the tittle of this thread is "I am not gay, I just like men" is that I don't fit the gay stereotypes, and so it is hard for me to associate with that word. I don't speak, express myself, dress, behave, etc. any different than straight guys. No one has questioned my sexuality in the past, and to be honest I don't want them to. I just want to have sex with men and not have to come out and be labeled as gay, but... Can I like men, and not be gay? Does anyone relate?
Dude, relax -- You're probably just bisexual! Lots of people are, including myself. There any many varying degrees of bisexuality as well, all people lean one way or another (or sit right in the middle of the scale) as far as gender preference. You should consider taking the Kinsey scale test, it will give you a general idea of where your sexuality lies. There's no specific way a gay or bi person 'must' act, and many of us are just as straight acting as any heterosexual. I myself don't act flamboyant at all, and most LGB people I know don't either. Though there are some, it's more-less just a stereotype. There's just as much variety with people in this community as any other! There's nothing wrong with exploring that potential side of you, and see what you like and dislike. You never know, you could open up a whole side of you you never even expected! I was 16 before I was fully able to come to terms with my sexuality, though all my life I had been into the idea of same-sex contact and watched gay porn from time to time. You just need to take down any mental barriers you may have, and let yourself discover the real you deep down. If you ever need anyone to talk to about discovering your sexuality, my wall is open! I know exactly the position your in, and it can be confusing and scary at times. It always helps to have an experienced ear! I hope I helped at least a little. (*hug*)
I make Astral's words my words! I'm passing in this phase in this moment! I have a lot of doubt about my sexuality, but in the same time it's all ok about this! Sometimes, in my life, I had some sexual attraction with some boys when touched me without malicious and always don't accept this feelings. Stereotypes exists everywhere, every time! You don't need follow the mainstream, just be yourself!
"Gay" does sound derogatory BECAUSE of these stereotypes. You don't have to identify with any term you don't find comfort in. Maybe it's a physical attraction or a romantic one. Could be both, or perhaps you're bi. In the end, you know yourself more than any person can or any label can say.
Hey! There's such thing as panseuxality too! You don't have to label yourself on whom you date/like, and just because you have sex with men and fall in love with men doesn't mean you're "gay". Also, stereotypes don't define you either! There are plenty of men in the gay community who oppose almost all homosexual stereotypes (i.e. bears), and simply are gay- because they are homosexual. It's important to be open with yourself and open to the possibility that you don't have to label yourself. Just be who you are, and as long as you're happy, nothing else should matter.
Bi or Pan? The word "gay" doesn't mean you have to be all like You can just be like any normal guy, just... y'know into guys. However, I would say you're bisexual or pansexual.
