Lately I feel a lot more comfortable with my sexuality and I've been thinking a lot about telling people I know. People want to know when I'll start dating again since I ended a long term and long distance relationship late last year. My attraction to women was one really good reason to end the relationship along with several others. When people ask about me being open to meeting new people I find it impossible to give an honest answer. For the first time in my life I don't feel attracted to the opposite sex. So when people ask about dating; I want to say no because I don't want to date men and everyone thinks I'm straight. I also want to say yes because I feel ready to start exploring relationships with women. I have a friend I'm pretty open with about everything except my sexual orientation. When she talks about finding men attractive I find myself agreeing and I don't like lying to her. I think a lot about telling her and I notice myself intentionally stopping short to avoid telling her in our conversations. And then labels! I'm not entirely sure I want to describe myself as bisexual. I've been attracted to men in the past and I consider it still being a possibility in the future so lesbian or gay doesn't seem right either. If I'm really honest with myself I think I've been attracted to the same sex for a long time. I'm worried that people will insist I pick a label when I tell them or worse they'll pick one for me. My ex is always asking me why I decided to end the relationship and I sort of want to tell him too. Sometimes I think telling him would help him understand. I want to continue to be friends with him and I still care about him so I worry about being rejected. How do you know when you're ready to tell someone? What if it goes terribly wrong? :icon_redf
I think that, when you want to tell someone and be open about yourself, and you're comfortable with the idea of someone knowing, then you're probably ready. Like this friend you mentioned. How does she feel about LGBT+ people? If she's accepting, and you're as close as you are, she'll probably be understanding if you told her everything you just told us here. There's no guarantee that she won't try to label you, but if you explain your uncertainty she might not. That's one of the scariest things about coming out. You can have a good idea of how someone will react, but it's hard to be 100% sure until you tell them. Still, when you feel ready, and when you feel prepared to answer any questions they might have, then it's worth it, even though it's scary. And you don't have to do it all at once. You can start with this one friend, if that feels comfortable for you, and then tell other people as fast or as slowly as you want. There's no need to rush.
